One Night In Heaven
by Ultrawoman
Summary: AU FantasyAll Human. They were perfect strangers, both with a longing to be wanted. It was just one night, they weren’t hurting anybody. Tomorrow they’d go back to their normal lives, and never see each other again. At least, that was the plan... Spuffy
1. Chapter 1

A/N : Okay, so four WIPs at once is a crazy plan, and something I did say I wouldn't let happen again, but between the confusion in On The Other Side, the sudden drama and sadness in The Wild Child, and the huge plotline that has obscured the Spuffy a little in Too Much To Dream, I was feeling the need for some intense Spuffiness. That's what you're going to find in the first chapter of this new fic, and I hope you like it.

Rating : PG-13

Summary : AU Fantasy/All Human. They were perfect strangers, both with a longing to be wanted. It was just one night, they weren't hurting anybody. Tomorrow they'd go back to their normal lives, and never see each other again. At least, that was the plan...  
_  
Disclaimer : All recognisable characters belong to Joss Whedon, creator of the Buffyverse and Angelverse._

Chapter 1

"You alright there, luv?" an accented voice asked from behind her. Buffy turned to find a man on a barstool there, head tilted to one side as he observed her. He had the deepest blue eyes she'd ever seen and the brightest blond hair too.

"I'm fine" she nodded a little warily, stirring her Martini around in the glass with the cocktail stick that had an olive on it at some point.

"S'alright, pet, I'm not some weirdo who's gonna jump on you any second" the stranger smirked as she shifted away from him, "You just looked a bit, well, lost I s'pose"

Buffy smiled at his apparent interest in her, sighing at the same time and wondering when she'd became so cynical that she automatically assumed a guy that spoke to her in a club like this was some kind of attacker.

"I'm not lost" she assured him, deciding she might as well sit down on the stool beside him, "See that bunch of shiny happy people over there" she pointed and he nodded when he spotted those she spoke of, "That's where I'm supposed to be. It's an engagement party for my two of mybest friends" she said absently as she watched Willow and Xander laughing with the other couples. All those couples, and her on her own. She'd just had to get away.

"Tell me then, luv" the stranger asked her, "If your best mates are over there, what exactly are you doing all alone over here?"

"I'm not alone" she smiled as she turned back to look at him, "I'm with you"

He smirked at that, turning it into a smile when she held out a hand to him.

"I'm Buffy, by the way" she told him as he took hold of her hand in his.

"Spike" he gave as his own handle as he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles.

"Your Mom and Dad named you Spike?" she laughed to cover the fact he'd embarrassed her a little.

"No" he agreed, "You tellin' be your parents named you Buffy?" he asked in kind, with a raised eyebrow as he sipped his bourbon.

"Yes, actually" the blonde replied, going even more red than she had done previously, "I sometimes wonder about their sense of humour" she rolled her eyes and Spike bit his lip so as not to laugh.

"Well then, Buffy" he said her name with some emphasis as he tried to puzzle out where her parents had ever found such a thing, "How about I buy you another drink, seein' as we're such good friends now"

"Yeah, okay" she nodded, "Thanks" she said, settling herself on the stool and deciding she'd be happy to stay and talk for a while. It wasn't as if she was doing anything wrong, just talking and having a drink with this nice, seemingly decent, drop dead gorgeous guy. As she glanced back at her friends she noticed they'd not even missed her yet, such was the world.

"So, you're not from around here, right?" she asked her new friend as their drinks arrived on the bar and he paid for them.

"What gave me away?" he smirked and she laughed lightly.

"Well, let's skip past the fact that nobody from Sunnydale has that accent" she told him with a look, "and come straight to the point that if I'd seen you before I would've remembered" she grinned, downing half her drink in one go.

"I'm from England" Spike explained, "Just north of London actually. Came here for my Summer vacation"

"Alone?" Buffy checked, finding it a little strange that such a hottie as this didn't have at least one girlfriend if not several.

"Yeah, alone" he confirmed staring into his glass, "Was supposed to be coming here with my girlfriend, but..."

"Bad break-up?" Buffy guessed with a pained expression, regretting asking now.

"Is there a good kind?" he asked, taking a gulp of his drink, "Truth is I found her in bed with someone else"

"Ouch" was Buffy's response. She couldn't imagine how much that must hurt, to walk in and find the one person you loved with all your heart in the arms of another.

"Yeah, well, don't s'pose I can really blame her" Spike sighed, finishing his drink much faster than he'd intended to and immediately ordering another for both himself and Buffy. Talking about Dru made him want to drink on until he couldn't think anymore, didn't care like he did when he was sober.

"What possible good reason could she have for cheating on you with some other guy?" Buffy asked with a look. She was a strong person, never allowing herself to become a victim, well, she tried not to anyway. She hated to see others suffer, be weak and allow themselves to get stepped on by those they loved or hated, it didn't matter either way.

"See that's the point though, innit?" he said, picking up his next drink and studying the brown liquid as it sloshed against the sides of it's container, "Didn't catch her at it with another fella" he admitted, "Found her in our bed, getting her happys with another bird"

Buffy's eyes were wide as the Grand Canyon, though Spike wasn't looking at her to know it. That really was the absolute last thing she'd been expecting him to say.

"She was... oh" she said, frowning hard, then biting her lip as laughter wanted to force it's way out of her body. Here she sat, her life not exactly on the up and up, and still she'd managed to find the one other person in the whole of the Bronze with bigger and more unsolvable problems than her.

"Are you laughing at me?" Spike asked her with a tilt of his head as Buffy tried to hide her giggles in her hand. It didn't work too well, though she shook her head in answer to his question.

"You bloody are!" he accused and he seemed so serious about it, Buffy felt awful but she couldn't help busting up laughing. It was just so ridiculous. There was a woman out there who had Spike for a boyfriend, this gorgeous and apparently genuinely nice guy and she was gay. How incredibly unfair was that?

"I'm so sorry" Buffy attempted to apologise around her terrible fit of giggles, "I just... it's so ridiculously insane"

Spike couldn't help himself as he joined in laughing with her.

"S'pose it does sound bloody funny from the outside" he admitted, knowing that if he were alone thinking about his situation he'd be crying like a baby, especially after the amount of drinks he'd had. Somehow Buffy's presence made it more bearable, better than just bearable, even amusing to him.

When the pair of them had substantially calmed down, Buffy took her turn and bought the next round of drinks. Neither seemed at all bothered by how much they were drinking, life was too complicated to want to remember all it's intricacies right now. Better to drink and talk and laugh and let all the badness drift away for a few hours, they decided. It wasn't as if anyone was going to miss them going home tonight.

"So, how about you, pet?" Spike asked Buffy.

"How about me, what?" she checked, not understanding what he meant.

"Your latest flame planning on going gay too?" he smirked and she giggled once again.

"Doubtful" she told him, with a shake of her head, "Very doubtful. He likes women way too much for that... just not me so much" she added sadly as she finished off another drink. Spike looked thoughtfully at her. How was it possible that such a woman could not be desirable to any straight bloke with a pulse? His silent thinking made Buffy uncomfortable after a while and she told him so too.

"Do you have to look at me like that?" she said, glancing away from his intense gaze and going slightly pink.

"Sorry, pet" Spike told her, finding her embarrassment so endearing, "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I'm just trying to figure out... I don't understand how any man could ever not want you" he told her perfectly seriously and Buffy looked up at him with such wonder and surprise, as if no-one had ever told her she was attractive.

"I think you're drunk" she said, shifting awkwardly in her seat.

"Maybe" he agreed, putting his fingers under her chin and turning her head back so she was facing him, "but that doesn't change the fact that you are a very attractive woman" he told her, looking right into her eyes and making her listen, "I was sober enough when you came over here and I knew it then. Fella'd have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to notice" he said solemnly, not realising that the entire time they had been drifting closer and closer together.

Buffy swallowed hard and her heart thumped wildly in her chest, as Spike leaned in a little further and put his lips to hers. If she didn't know better, she would've sworn it was the fourth of July and somebody was letting off fireworks all around her as he kissed her all but breathless. Her arms slid up around his neck as his wrapped around her waist, lifting her from the stool and pulling her towards him. She was practically on his lap as the kiss deepened and he protested a little when she tried to pull away.

"Spike" she gasped, trying to breathe as she rested her forehead against his, "What're we doing?"

"Well, where I come from, it's called snogging, luv" he told her, wasting no time in giving her another demonstration which she let happen for a moment before pulling away again and this time right out of his arms.

"This isn't a good idea" she told him, sitting back down on her stool and looking off to the side, "I mean, you know this is insane, right?" she checked, wondering if it was just her being weird again or whether this really was kind of inappropriate. She'd only met this guy a couple of hours ago and suddenly they were lip-locking like it was going out of style, there had to be something wrong with this picture.

"Yeah" he sighed, turning on his seat and finishing another drink, "S'pose it is sort of daft to be messing around..." he trailed off, finding it terribly difficult to have a sensible and rational thought right now, without getting lost somewhere in the middle. Some of that he guessed was the alcohol's doing, but he'd been fine just a few minutes ago, right up until he'd kissed Buffy. God but she was beautiful he thought as he glanced over at her, playing with an umbrella from someone's abandoned cocktail. He'd met some girls in his time, slept with several, even fancied himself in love with a couple but there was just something about this one, about Buffy, that he couldn't wrap his head around. Never had simply kissing a girl got him as excited as he was when he had her in his arms just now.

Buffy herself refused to move her eyes away from the bar or the paper umbrella between her fingers. If she looked at Spike she'd want to get back over there and kiss him again, feel his lips on her own, and his hands burning her skin even through her clothes. Nobody ever made her feel that good, not ever, and all they'd really done was kiss. That was a fact that both scared Buffy and thrilled her at the same time, in a way she couldn't begin to describe and didn't want to try.

"Er, I should probably go" she realised, even though somewhere inside her a voice was screaming what an idiot she was to walk away from a man like this, a man that could make her shiver inside with just a look and who's kiss sent her soaring through the clouds. Okay, so he could be anybody, she didn't know him properly or anything but she'd like to know him better, intimately being the perfect word for just how well.

"Do you have to go?" Spike asked her, reaching out a hand to her arm as she got up, "We were doin' alright before, talking and stuff" he reminded her.

"I know" she nodded, eyes flitting between his own and the point on her arm where his fingers lay, and finding it ridiculously difficult to get out a sentence, "but this isn't... it's not... It's too hot in here" she said, pulling her arm from his grip and stepping away, "I have to get out"

With that she practically ran for the exit and despite the fact he was a little bit drunk, Spike managed to move fast enough to follow her, probably aided by the fact she'd had her fill of alcoholic beverages tonight too.

They arrived outside the door of the club and Buffy took in great lungfuls of fresh air, hoping to make herself cooler and calmer. It didn't help as much as it should, since Spike was right by her side again, giving her that intense look that made her melt inside.

"You're bleeding" he frowned, reaching out to take her hand carefully in his own.

"I tripped at the door" she said absently, "Put my hand out to stop myself falling... I guess there was something sharp or..." her head swam from a mixture of alcohol, the sight of her own blood, and the gentle way this guy was cradling her hand so carefully in his own.

"I'm staying at the hotel just around the corner" he told her, "If you want I could clean this up for you, maybe make us a coffee too" he suggested.

Buffy opened her mouth to say thanks but no, when his eyes came up to meet hers again. Before she knew it she'd agreed to his proposition, and they were walking together, him asking her if she had a clean handkerchief or similar that she could press onto her cut until they got to his room. She managed to find some tissue from her purse and did as he told her, absently wondering if he was a doctor or something, but then it hardly took a real medic to know how to stem the flow of blood from a small scrape like this.

They were silent as they went into the building and travelled up three floors via the elevator. They shared a couple of glances but Buffy mostly kept her eyes on the floor, knowing if their eyes met for too long their lips would soon follow and things might get out of hand. Speaking of hands, she was fairly certain her own had stopped bleeding now but for some reason she didn't tell Spike, and followed him from the elevator to his door and then inside his room.

"Sit down" he told her, gesturing vaguely to the bed, and despite her better judgement, Buffy perched on the edge of it, seeing as there was no chair or anything as an alternative. Spike disappeared into the en suite bathroom and returned a moment later with some antiseptic and so forth. It still should've hurt, Buffy realised, as he cleaned up her almost non-existent wound, but it didn't. She felt nothing but electric-type sensations as his fingers caressed the skin of her hand.

"There" he said a moment later as he pressed a sticky plaster over the cut, "All fixed up" he smiled, kissing her hand as he had when they first met just hours ago.

"Thankyou" Buffy breathed, absently wondering why he was still holding her hand, and how they seemed to be leaning in closer to each other despite the fact she was unaware she was actually moving.

"You're welcome, luv" he replied, eyes flickering between her own hazel pools and her lips as she licked them absently.

"I should go" she said, glancing towards the door and back, "but maybe we could do this again sometime?"

"No can do, pet" he told her, intense gaze never wavering, "Going back home tomorrow"

Buffy couldn't bear it, couldn't bear to think she was about to walk out on this wonderful man and she would never see him again. She wasn't so naive she believed in love at first sight, that was for silly school girls and their daydreams. Still, she was only twenty-five, she told herself, despite the fact she felt so much older most days. She looked down to avoid his eyes but his hand reached out to push her hair away from her face, fingers lingering at her cheek.

"You are so beautiful" he told her, meaning it as honestly as he'd ever meant anything. When he leaned in to kiss her, Buffy lost all capacity for any kind of rational thought. Fireworks, just like before, electricity, fire, explosions, all those feelings she'd only ever read about in books were happening to her now as Spike kissed her til she couldn't breathe, and still she didn't want him to stop.

He leaned her back onto the bed, pressed her body into the mattress with the weight of his own as he kissed a path from her lips down her throat and back.

"Oh God" Buffy gasped, a small part of her telling her she was idiot and asking what the hell she thought she was doing, but the whole point was that she wasn't thinking anymore, only feeling. It was like molten lava ran through her veins as Spike's hands pulled her top from her skirt and found the bare skin in between, his lips coming back to hers and taking her breath away all over again.

He wanted her, she could feel how much he really did and that in itself thrilled her beyond words. Nobody had ever wanted her this much, and she doubted they ever would again. She didn't just want him, she needed him, needed what he was doing to her, wished it'd go on forever.

Clothes slowly slipped away, as they moved together, lips and hands discovering each others bodies in beautiful detail as he began to make love to her, real romance novel love, movies love, pure and passionate love, despite the fact those three little words were never spoken and the couple were not even that, just a pair of almost perfect strangers.

What would happen next was anybody's guess, and right in that moment neither Spike nor Buffy cared. They were connected on so many levels as he moved inside her, looking deep into her eyes as he did so. In his gaze she saw passion, pure want for her alone, and as long as she lived she'd never forget that look, the feeling that went with it, and the passionate emotions it seemed only this man could evoke inside her.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : Well, I never wrote a first chapter quite like that before. Here's hoping you liked it, and that I acheive what I want to with the rest of the story. Reviews would be very much appreciated at this point, please, since I'm a little worried I haven't pulled this opening chapter off quite as well as I might've.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N : Woah, 25 reviews on one chapter? You guys are the best! Big thanx to you all; TammyDevil666, Ape18, Baby Girl Geller-Green, spuffy-monica, Brandy, Moluvsnumber17, casey, kim, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, souled-angel, Rebel Goddess, spbangel, amytherat, meagan, aej1085, Brunettepet, Lifes-Slayer, SpikeLvr, Melody Lane, artemis92, Spuffy2008, wicked-angel-413, funkydevil208, Amandamanda3, and bella-lover. You all like me now for the Spuffyness, but you might not so much now that it's over... but there will be more Spuffyness later, I swear. Hope you'll all keep reading through the hard times, cos the good stuff will be really good, I promise.  
**_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 2

Buffy groaned as she woke up the next morning. It felt as if a samba band had set themselves up inside her head, using the interior of her skull to play on. She should have known better she realised, drinking like she had last night always led to bad hang-over-ness in the morning. Not that Buffy made a habit of drinking so much but last night had been... she frowned as she realised she couldn't entirely remember what had happened last night. She shifted her body in the bed and realised with some horror that she was naked. That was not normal, she thought, and neither was finding a man in the bed next to her that was not her husband!

"Oh God" she groaned silently not wanting to wake the bleached blond that lay beside her sleeping soundly still. She opened one eye to look at him again, and a million thoughts and feelings flowed through her as she began to remember last nights events. Nobody had ever wanted her like Spike had, nobody had ever made her feel so very alive. Angel never had, not even back when she was younger and believed herself to be in love with him.

With a sigh, Buffy manoeuvred herself out of the bed, careful not to disturb Spike. She found her clothes spread around the room where they had been thrown in the heat of passion. She wriggled into them, trying to remember if she had a purse with her or possibly a jacket. Her eyes passed by the clock on the stand by the bed. She cursed as she realised she was going to be late if she didn't hurry and with one final long look at the beautiful face of the man who'd made her feel so good, she let herself out of the room and ran down to the street.

Buffy was too hell-bent on getting home on time to be sad or happy about anything that happened last night. Long ago she'd realised there were things that mattered more than your own happiness, it was just last night that she seemed to have forgotten. A man whom she knew only by the nick-name of Spike had taken her to heaven and back, and that she would never forget as long as she lived, though she'd never see the guy again. He was headed back to England today, he had said, and so it was over. That was probably for the best Buffy realised, thinking no doubt the alcohol and such had made her time with him seem more special than it should've. It couldn't have been as amazing as she remembered, it just wasn't possible, or so she told herself. If it were true, she'd just left behind one incredible man that she was never going to see again, and that would make her crazier than anyone else in the world ever.

With a heavy sigh, Buffy let herself into the building where she lived and trudged up the three flights of stairs without stopping at the elevator. It was Out Of Order so often there was very little point in even trying it. The blonde stopped in the last stairwell, digging in her purse for a mirror. She made a face at the less than good-looking reflection and attempted to make herself look semi-presentable.

Buffy painted a smile on her face and knocked on her neighbours door.

"Buffy, hi" Jenny greeted her friend, letting her into the apartment.

"Thanks so much for doing this, Jenny" the blonde said gratefully, "I couldn't really let Will and Xander down and Angel was... kinda busy" she lied.

"Honestly, Buffy, it's fine" Jenny assured her, "Everybody needs to have some fun once in a while, maybe a few drinks. Even mothers"

Buffy smiled at her friends kindness, and whilst she agreed with what she was saying in principal she was starting to feel awfully guilty. Jenny thought she'd had an innocent night out, had a few drinks, gone home to bed and come around here next morning to pick up her little boy, all innocent as can be. If she knew she was technically an adulteress, she might not be so fast to defend her, despite the fact she'd never been Angel's biggest fan.

"Mommy!" a little voice yelled, breaking Buffy's train of thought.

"There's my boy" she grinned as she crouched down to the six year olds level and he barrelled into her arms, "You have a nice time with Aunt Jenny, Michael?" she asked as she hugged her son.

"Uh-huh" he nodded, grinning widely, "We watched cartoons and then Aunt Jenny read me a story before I went to sleep" he enthused, "and then I had pancakes for breakfast for when I got up"

"Sounds good" Buffy smiled genuinely at last.

Michael meant so much to her, more than anything else in the whole world, including her husband and herself. A part of her was feeling wretched right now for leaving him with Jenny whilst she had the most amazing sex of her life with a complete stranger, but it wasn't as if her boy had come to anymore harm than he would have if she'd stayed at the party and gone home to her own bed.

"Come on, starshine" she smiled once again, picking her son up from the floor, "Let's get you home"

"You're not gonna stay and tell me about the party?" Jenny frowned as she handed Buffy the bag with Michael's pyjamas and things in.

"Not much to tell" the blonde shrugged, "Besides I should get moving, the apartment needs cleaning and then there's laundry and shopping"

"You work too hard, Buffy" her friend said seriously, a hand on her arm to prevent her leaving until she'd finished speaking, "You should talk to Angel, he needs to be helping you with all this"

"Jenny" Buffy sighed, "I know you're trying to help but, it's okay. I can deal" she said a little unconvincingly as she went out of the door, "Thanks again for looking after Michael, I owe you one"

"Nonsense" Jenny said with a shake of her head, "It's what friends are for"

The two women shared a final smile before Buffy carried her son down one flight of stairs to her own apartment.

"Mommy?" Michael whined as she put him down on the ground and searched for her keys, "Is Daddy in there?" he pointed at the front door, making a face.

"Of course" Buffy told him, "Where else would Daddy be?"

"How come even if he's home I go see Aunt Jenny when you go out?" he asked next and Buffy felt sick. How did you tell a little boy that you don't trust his father enough to leave them alone together? Not that she really believed Angel would harm Michael, at least she thought she believed it. He could be so cruel though, he wouldn't have to even touch him in a physical sense. Angel could use just a harsh look and a few words to bring even her to tears sometimes, he could mentally screw up Michael all too easily, especially when he'd been drinking, and Buffy would not give him that oppurtunity.

"Daddy has stuff to do" she said, fumbling with her keys, hating knowing she was lying to her son, but she had very little choice. She could hardly tell the boy his father didn't love him enough to play nice, she sometimes wondered if he loved him at all, although that was a theory she'd rather not dwell on.

Buffy wrinkled her nose at the smell of stale beer as she opened the door and Michael ran inside ahead of her. Semi-crushed cans littered the coffee table along with half-empty chip bags and a pizza box missing most of it's contents.

"Hey, baby" Angel leered from the bedroom door and Buffy's stomach turned over at the sight of him. It was crazy to think just a few years ago he was what she lived for. They were so much in love during High School, she always wanted to be Mrs Liam O'Reilly, and finally the day came when it happened. It wasn't how Buffy had pictured it. Two days before her graduation she'd realised she was pregnant. At first Angel had been happy but resented the fact both his parents and Buffy's mother thought they should be married before the child was born.

Back then she'd had no idea that he spoke his vows to her under protest, only later in one of their screaming, raging arguments had he admitted it. After Michael was born, his father doted on him right up until they left the hospital. A whole two days of family-type bliss before it became apparent things were not going to be that simple. In short, Angel was jealous of Michael, his own son. It was possibly the most ridiculous thing in the world, but it was the only explanation. Any time Buffy spent caring for her baby, Angel spent trying to distract her and then sulking when his attempts were made in vain. Sometimes he was nice to her and Michael, sometimes it was like having the old Angel back, but those times were few and far between, especially now.

"Michael, honey, why don't you go to your room" Buffy told the boy, "Pick out a dvd and wait there for me, I'll come watch with you for a while, okay?"

"Yay!" was the excited response she got as her son darted towards his bedroom, only to be intercepted by Angel.

"Hey Mikey" he grinned, reaching for the boy who dodged away and ran into his room.

"His name is Michael" Buffy snapped. He knew how much she hated his name being shortened in that way, she was almost certain that was the main reason he used it.

"You didn't come home last night" was his only response he turned to look at her once again.

"I stayed at a friends" she replied, taking off her coat and hanging it on the hook behind the door, "I told you I might. Were you so drunk you don't even remember?"

By the time she turned around again, Angel was right there in her face. His breath was enough evidence to prove how much alcohol he'd consumed, even if she hadn't noticed the empty cans strewn about. He looked angry at first but his features softened eventually and he leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"I remembered" he told her, "I just missed you, baby" he told her, one hand running through her hair and the other down her body to her ass.

"Angel, don't" she said, pushing him away, "Just, don't"

She moved away from him, picking up some of the trash he'd left all over the place. It was times like this when she really questioned why she stayed with him, especially now as she thought of last night. Angel muttered something that sounded like 'bitch' before retreating back to the bedroom and slamming the door. Thankfully it seemed he was too drunk, tired, or a combination of both to bother starting an argument, but Buffy knew it'd come later. Most of the time her lack of want for him wasn't an issue and she knew only too well why. At least whilst he was screwing other women he left her alone in that department.

She sighed as she took the pizza box and cans through to the kitchen, dumping them in a black bag for the trash. Her life felt as if it were barely worth living on days like these. She worked a five day week whilst Angel claimed so many sick days, Buffy knew if his boss wasn't his cousin her lazy husband would have lost his job months, possibly years ago. He wasted what he earnt on himself, the beer he drank and cigarettes he sometimes smoked. Buffy was left to run the family home on the little she earned as a receptionist at a dental surgery. With all the things she needed to keep her son fed and clothed, she had no cash for luxuries and no time to spare as she spent most of the weekend cleaning and cooking and making time for her baby boy.

"Mommy!" aforementioned child called as he ran into the kitchen to find her, "Mommy, why are you crying?" he frowned when he found her sitting on the tiled floor in tears she'd barely noticed herself.

"It's okay, sweetie" she promised her son, "Mommy's fine, just being silly is all" she forced a smile as she wiped the dampness from her cheeks, "You picked out a dvd for us to watch?" she asked, getting up and washing her hands.

"Uh-huh" he said, proudly holding up his choice with a grin.

"Let's go then" his mother smiled, following him back to his room where she put the disc into the machine, flipped on the TV and settled on the bed with Michael on her lap. Her eyes didn't take in the cartoon, her brain certainly didn't register any of it at all as her mind raced around in circles til she felt sick.

It was almost four years since her own mother had passed away. For months before that Joyce Summers had suffered with cancer, having told her daughter of her illness on the very day Buffy was going to explain about Angel's change of character. The young girl as she was then, planned to ask if she could move back in with her mother, only to be told of Joyce's dreadful illness. Buffy couldn't impose, she had to support her mother, not add stress to her condition. When the illness finally took her, Buffy was left without a family to turn to, and no friends that could really help her. Nobody knew the extent to which Angel had altered. He was sweetness and light in company, or at least he had been til he stopped going anywhere with his wife.

At this point there was no escape. Buffy had little money, no family, and hardly any friends since most had been driven away by her husbands appalling behaviour. If there was just her to think of she might have made a run for it, anywhere she could afford, just to get away. Michael made the difference. She could bear to be unloved and badly treated by Angel, if it meant keeping her child safe and well.

Last night was supposed to be a release, one night of goodness to help her face the badness of everyday life. All it had done was prove to Buffy just how much she was missing, and showed her how awful her life had really become. Still, despite all this, she would not give up the memory of that special night for anything in the world.

_To Be Continued...  
_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N : Thanx muchly to my reviewers that rock so much; wicked-angel413, funkydevil206, spuffy-monica, Spuffy2008, souled-angel, aej1085, Baby Girl Geller-Green, Daniel Wesley Rydell, bella-lover, roxxy, KelleyThe SelfToastablePopTart, sirc, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and my anonymous reviewer too. Love all your reactions, and ideas for where the ficmight go from here. I'm not saying anything about the plot though, it'll all have to be a surprise for you!  
**_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 3

It was three weeks since Willow and Xander's engagement party, and therefore three weeks since Buffy had spent one night making mad passionate love with a stranger she only knew as Spike. Since then she had spent a lot of time thinking about the mysterious Englishman who she would never see again, even when she knew there were much more important things that her mind should be on. However, today there was one less thing to worry about and that was Angel.

Though her husband was turning out to be possibly one of the worst men Buffy had ever met, his cousin was not similarly afflicted. Doyle was pleasant enough though perhaps a little too kind hearted towards the lazy and often unpleasant Angel. Buffy actually quite liked Doyle and was pleased for him when he announced his engagement to his girlfriend, Cordelia. With the wedding just around the corner, a weekend long bachelor party had been arranged in Las Vegas and the group of men had left together on Friday night.

Buffy was only too pleased to have two whole days without her husband. She rushed through the housework on Saturday morning with plans to spend much quality time with her son, Michael, and he was only too pleased to be taken to the park and get an ice-cream before heading home and playing half the board games he owned. By the time the child went to bed he was so tired he fell straight to sleep and Buffy wasn't sure if she should feel guilty for being glad.

She curled up on the couch with a tub of Ben and Jerry's finest that she'd treated herself too and watched a chick flick she would neither have time to watch usually or would normally dare to in front of her husband.

As the hero and heroine ran into each other arms, declaring love for each other and kissing deeply, Buffy felt ridiculous for feeling dampness on her cheeks. It was just a movie, she didn't usually get teary about such things, especially when it was a nice happy ending. She knew why this was happening now, of course she did. She wanted to be in love like that again, she wanted to be worshipped by a man that she couldn't get enough of. It had started out like that with Angel, but they were just kids then, and what she'd had with Spike, that was one night, and it wasn't exactly love, she barely knew the man!

As the screen faded to black and the credits began to roll, Buffy turned off the TV and stared into the mostly empty ice-cream tub on the table, considering whether she wanted to eat the remaining melting contents or not. The decision was made for her by a knock on the door and she abandoned her comfort food to go and see who was there. Sliding the safety chain into place she prised open the door and peeked through the gap.

"Oh hello there" said an English voice and a very proper-looking gentleman smiled kindly at her, "I was looking for Joyce Carter" he told her, "I was directed here from Revello Drive"

"Hold on a sec" Buffy frowned, closing the door to take off the chain, and wondering why this man was on her doorstep and asking about her mother by her unmarried name years after she'd passed away.

"Who are you?" she asked suspiciously when she opened the door at last. She was fairly certain she'd never seen the man before not even in pictures, and if she had she was sure she'd remember the awful tweed suit and little glasses.

"Oh I'm terribly sorry, my name is Rupert Giles" he introduced himself, "And you are?" he asked.

"Buffy Summers, originally" the blonde replied, "I'm Joyce's daughter but... she died"

"Oh good Lord" Mr Giles gasped, putting a hand to his head and looking as if he might pass out, cry, or possibly both, "No, she can't... good God, how?" he needed to know.

"Come inside" Buffy said ushering him in, "Sit down before you fall down"

He did as she said and Buffy went to the drinks cabinet, pouring the man a brandy.

"Here, it's good for shock" she told him as she handed him the glass and sat down on the couch opposite him, "Mr Giles, how did you know my mother?" she checked, thinking it must have been a very long time since he'd seen her since he didn't even know she'd got married!

"It was a very long time ago" he confirmed, "We were just children really, I was over here as an exchange student and I met dear Joyce... it will sound quite strange to you I'm sure but I was a little wild in my youth" he smiled at memories of that time, "Joyce was quite attracted by it, or so it would seem. I suppose you might say we fell in love"

Buffy was quite taken aback to realise she was currently siting opposite one of her mother's ex-boyfriends. Joyce had never spoken of dating anyone other than Buffy's own father Hank, and he was hardly mentioned at all after the divorce when Buffy was just fifteen.

"You and Mom dated" she said with a strange smile, before a frown took it's place, "How come you broke up?"

"Well, I had to go home to England" he explained, "Though I promised that as soon as the Summer break rolled around I'd be on the first flight back to California to see her" he explained, reaching into his back pocket and producing a wallet, from which came an old crumpled photograph that he stared longingly at before passing it to Buffy, "I can't remember a happier time than those two short months I spent with my dearest Joyce"

Buffy looked at the picture, a younger version of her mother standing outside the old house with a young man at her side, his arm around her shoulders. He looked only vaguely like the man that sat here now, dressed in a T-shirt, jeans, and leather jacket, with a cigarette hanging from his mouth. As her eyes blurred with tears at the sight of her mother, Buffy could almost make the picture be herself and Spike.

"Was it recent that she... passed away?" a voice cut through her thoughts and she remembered where she was and what was happening.

"Fours years now, Mr Giles" she said sadly, handing his photo back to him.

"Oh please, it's just Giles" he told her, "May I ask how she was taken from you?"

"Cancer" Buffy said, feeling the pain of losing her mother all over again. Giles hated himself for upsetting this young woman. He had no business pushing into her life like this, it wasn't as if she even knew him.

"I'm so terribly sorry" he muttered standing up, "I should go, I should probably never have come..."

"Wait a second" Buffy called him back, "You must have had a reason for wanting to find her now" she realised, "Why didn't you come back before?"

Giles sat down again and sighed.

"My own dear father passed away shortly after my return to England" he explained, "He was a rich man, owning several large businesses, the entirety of which he left to me. We had no other family you see and the loss of my father hit me very hard, as did the sudden responsibility thrust upon me"

"In all the tragedy and everything, you forgot about her?" Buffy asked and Giles shook his head.

"Oh no, absolutely not" he declared vehemently, "I could never forget her, I simply needed to get things in order before I returned" he explained, "I wrote to her, told her everything that had happened and waited for a reply. When one never came I tried several more times but still got no answer"

"That doesn't make sense" Buffy frowned, "If you liked each other so much, why would she ignore your letters?" she asked not understanding at all. Her mother was not the kind of person to do that sort of thing, she would at least have the good grace to write back even if only to tell the guy it was over between them, she was sure.

"I have no idea" the man admitted, polishing his glasses on a handkerchief, "I simply assumed anything she had said she felt for me no longer existed, though it never stopped me from loving her. To this day Buffy, I can quite honestly say I still love her"

"I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to tell her" the blonde said honestly, thinking how much better things might have been if this pleasant enough man had returned to California a few years ago, after her parents divorce. It might've been okay to have a step-father like Giles.

"Yes, well" he smiled, "It is perhaps for the best. If we had found each other all those years ago she might never have married your father, and you would not be here now"

Buffy smiled at that.

"Guess not" she agreed, "Still, Mom might have been happier with you... she got divorced from my Dad when I was fifteen"

"Oh dear" Giles sympathised, "and then to be so ill"

"The divorce and the illness were almost four years apart so it wasn't quite as tragic as it sounds" Buffy told him making Giles frown. He was doing some quick calculations in his mind and something wasn't adding up.

"I hope you won't think I'm prying when I ask this" he said eventually, "but what is your date of birth, my dear?"

"January 19th" she said wondering why he wanted to know, "1981"

"Good Lord" Giles gasped for about the seventh time since he'd arrived and Buffy didn't understand what his problem was.

"What's the big?" she checked, "My parents had been married a year and then I was born and..."

"I beg to differ" he cut in, "Indeed your mother was free and single when I met her... just ten months prior to your birth"

"What?" Buffy squeaked, looking at Giles as if he had three heads, "What are you saying?" she asked in a strangled voice, though she was fairly certain she knew what he meant she couldn't believe it.

"There is a very great chance, Buffy, that your father is not your father at all" Giles said slowly, trying to take it in himself "and that I..."

"No" she interrupted, "No, no, no, no, you can't be my... cos I had a father, a Dad, Hank Summers, he was married to my Mom and he was... but..." her mind went into overdrive and no sentence that spun in her head could make it out of her mouth in complete order. She had vague memories of scraps of arguments she'd overheard. Words she couldn't understand spilling from her fathers lips so cruelly as her Mom sobbed and cried. Could it be true that she was actually the spawn of this man, Mr Rupert Giles, and not the guy she'd called Daddy all these years?

"Indeed Buffy, I know very well that I was your mothers only suitor whilst I was here" he explained, "I do believe I was the first she... was ever with" he said feeling a little embarrassed about what he was saying, "I'm sure you would be the first to agree your mother was not the sort of woman to cheat"

"Of course she wouldn't..." Buffy shook her head absently, "but how can it be true, how can you and... I can't take this in" she said, running her hands back through her hair and staring at the carpet as thoughts ran round her head so fast it was making her dizzy.

"Indeed, it is rather a shock" Giles agreed, "Not at all what I expected when I came here I assure you..."

"Mommy!" a little voice called suddenly as a small boy ran from the next room to Buffy.

"Michael, sweetheart, what are you doing you of bed?" she asked, lifting him onto her lap.

"I heard voices" he said, snuggling up to his mother and looking warily at Giles.

"I'm sorry, honey, we didn't mean to wake you" she told her boy, kissing the top of his head, "This is my son" she said to Giles, "Michael, say hi to Mr Giles" she encouraged the boy, "He used to be friends with your Grandma Joyce"

"Hi" Michael said shyly, clinging to Buffy.

"Hello there" the Englishman smiled, realising that should it turn out to be true and that he really was Buffy's father, the little boy in her arms might be his grandson.

Michael yawned then and his mother told him he should be back in bed. She excused herself to take him through to the bedroom but only got halfway there when Giles said he should go anyway, let her get some rest too.

"Are you staying around here long?" she asked, hugging Michael too her as she watched her possible father head for the front door.

"A few days, yes" he told her, "I wonder if I might, if you wouldn't mind my visiting again at some point. It may be possible we have some things to discuss"

"Here" Buffy said, picking up a pen and paper from by the phone and handing in to him, "Write down a number for me and I might call you, okay?"

"Okay" Giles smiled, scribbling down his name, number, and the name of the hotel he was staying at, "It was very nice to meet you both" he said sincerely as he handed back the paper and pen and went towards the door once again.

As the door clicked shut behind him, Buffy sighed. It had turned out to be a very strange evening, she thought as she took a half-asleep Michael back to his room and put him to bed. She doubted very much that she herself would get any sleep at all tonight, as she wondered where her assumed father was right now, and if it had all been a lie. It could easily be true, she realised, for Giles to be lying, but there was no reason why he should, there was nothing he could possibly gain.

Tomorrow Buffy would check records, numbers and figures, work out once and for all who her real father was. If the paperwork didn't add up to anything definite she'd be willing to go for a DNA test if she had to. After so many years of feeling alone, it might be nice to have a Dad again, one man in her life that she could actually trust.

_To Be Continued..._

**A/N2 : Yeah, I know, lack of Spuffyage, but I'm hoping you'll all stick with this cos it will eventually get big with the Spuffy, I swear.**


	4. Chapter 4

_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 4

"Hank Summers" he said as he answered his cell phone to the 'unknown caller'.

"Hi, it's me" Buffy told him, wondering vaguely if he'd even know from her voice who she was. It was years since she'd seen him last and it was only by chance that he had the same number now as he had four years ago when Joyce passed away that she'd managed to get a hold of him.

"Buffy" he smiled, "Great to hear from you, sweetheart"

"Is it?" she asked him coldly, "Why's that?"

"Oh baby, come on" Hank sighed, "I know I haven't been the world greatest father but I have my reasons..."

"Is one of them because you're not my father at all?" Buffy interrupted, wondering why she'd just blurted it out like that, she certainly hadn't meant to. To be honest she wasn't even going to call and ask like it but it seemed the fastest and most definite way of finding the truth. She was going to get him talking, work the conversation round to Giles' visit and hope to get through the whole conversation without an argument or tears. Things had not gone according to plan when she heard Hank's insincere voice and saw red, remembering how he'd abandoned her and her mother so long ago.

"I'm waiting for an answer?" she pressed, hating the waver in her own voice.

"Buffy, sweetheart, why would you say something like that?" he asked and she sighed as she sat down in the chair behind her.

"I met Rupert Giles yesterday" she explained, "He came looking for my Mom. When I told him what had happened and that I was her daughter, he started reminiscing about when he knew her over twenty years ago, and how he left her behind... nine months before I was born" she left the last sentence hanging, waiting for some kind of reaction from the man she'd called Dad all her life.

"You weren't supposed to find out, he's got no right coming back now" Hank muttered more to himself than to Buffy before finally saying something to her, "Sweetheart, Rupert Giles is not a good person, he's a liar and a cheat and he used your mother badly"  
"I didn't ask for a character analysis" Buffy snapped, "I asked you if you were my father, or is it really him?" she asked again, starting out angry but phasing back into a little scared by the end of her question. This was a big deal after all, a large portion of her life could well have been a lie.

"In every way that matters, I am your Dad" Hank said at last, "but biologically, yes, Rupert Giles is your father"  
Buffy dropped the phone then and it clattered against the coffee table before thumping onto the carpet. It had stunned her enough to know Giles might be her Dad, but to actually be told it was true by someone that she didn't trust so much but still he was hardly likely to lie about this. It sounded as if it were painful for him to admit the truth, but Buffy had no idea why as she soon told him as she scrambled to pick the phone receiver back up.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" she asked, feeling numb.

"Like I said, he used your mother" Hank repeated, "He used her and then he left promising to come back but he never did and..."

"His Dad died" Buffy interrupted, "He told me he wrote lots of times to explain but Mom never wrote back. That doesn't sound like Mom to me so what happened? The truth Dad, please" she urged him, not thinking about the fact she was still calling him her father even though they were discussing the very fact that he wasn't at all.

Hank was going to lie, though he'd never say that to her. He'd promised Joyce years ago he'd never let the truth out about this, but if Buffy already knew half of it and Giles was in town, what choice did he have? Besides he couldn't hurt his ex-wife now, she was gone.

"Buffy, your mothers parents didn't like Rupert Giles, they thought he was a bad influence on Joyce, and they were glad when he went away" he explained, "Then they realised the two of them had been closer than they thought, and Joyce was having his baby, that's you sweetie"

"Go on" Buffy pressed when he paused for a second. She needed to know the whole story, she deserved to know it.

"I'd liked your mother for a long time, we went to school together and I worked part-time for her father, your grandpa Joe, but Joyce, she barely knew I was alive" he smiled sadly at the old memories, "Anyway, I overheard Joe on the phone to her about the baby. I asked him to tell me the whole story and he was glad to be able to share the burden. You just didn't have kids without being married, Buffy, not back then"

"So you married her" Buffy filled in, "And Grandpa Joe and Grandma Helen kept Giles letters away from my Mom 'cause they liked you better?"

"Pretty much" Hank agreed, hating that the young woman he still saw as his little girl might be hurting right now. He'd caused her enough suffering as it was, and losing her mother had hit her hard. Now all this, finding out her family had lied to her since the day she was born, Hank couldn't imagine how she must be feeling.

"You okay, honey?" he checked, "I'm so sorry we never told you but..."

"It's okay" she interrupted, "I'm okay" she lied as a tear escaped down her cheek, "I have to go now"

"I know I wasn't the best father in the world" Hank sighed, "but I did my best" he promised her, "It wasn't easy knowing Joyce never loved me enough, but I loved her, and I still love you, baby" he swore.

"I love you too, Dad" she choked out, before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone.

It was then that Buffy began to cry, her face awash with a river of tears and she wasn't even really sure what they were all for. It hurt that she'd been lied to and it was frustrating to know she couldn't really confront anyone who had caused this pain. Her grandparents and her mother were dead. At least now she understood why her apparent father left her and her mother. He needed to be loved more than her mother could, and with her not being his natural daughter, why should he even care. He did care though, he still loved her and that made her cry too.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" a little voice asked and Buffy tried to dry her cheeks with her hands as she glanced over at her son who'd just appeared from his bedroom.

"Come here, Michael" she said and he pelted into her arms so she could hug him tight, "I love you" she sobbed as she held him, "You're my precious baby boy, and I would never lie to you"

"I know, Mommy" Michael nodded against her shoulder, "I love you too"

That only made Buffy cry harder and she was beginning to think she'd never stop when a knock on the door made her try at least. She blinked hard, sniffing into a tissue and trying to wipe her cheeks clean of salt water as she got up and went over to the door.

"Giles" she said a little startled to see him, especially after the recent revelation.

"I'm so sorry, Buffy" he apologised immediately, "I know I did say I would stay away until you called but I must head back to England quite early on Tuesday and I wasn't certain I'd see you again if I didn't come today" he explained, "I must know Buffy, whether or not you are indeed my daughter. I shall drive myself mad otherwise"

"It's true" Buffy choked out as further tears welled in her eyes, "You're my father"

"Oh good Lord" Giles gasped, polishing his glasses furiously on his handkerchief. Buffy let him into the apartment and they sat down, Michael on his mother's knees.

"I must repeat that I had no idea of your existence until yesterday" Giles told his apparent daughter, "If I had I would..."

"I know" Buffy nodded, "My grandparents kept your letters from my Mom, they didn't like you much back then"

The man nodded slowly.

"Yes, they were fairly hostile towards me" he agreed, "but then I suppose I was a little wild and Joyce was their only daughter..." he mumbled, trying to take it all in.

He'd been awake half the night and pacing the hotel room most of the morning, desperately racking his brains, trying to work out if it could be true and he could be the father of dear Joyce's baby girl. He'd wanted to come and see Buffy again but had to-ed and fro-ed over the decision until he was dizzy, before finally deciding yes, he would come here again. Now he was glad he had, though a little stunned by the stream of revelations he was hearing.

"My Dad... er, Hank" Buffy went on to say, "He always liked my Mom, and when you left and she realised she was pregnant with me, he offered to marry her. I guess I see now why Mom wanted me to marry Angel so bad" she said with a thoughtful expression. Giles shook his head out of a daze and looked strangely at her.

"Angel?" he echoed, "Your husband, I presume?"

"Yeah, Michael's father" she nodded and the boy on her lap snuggled closer to her.

"My Daddy's mean" he mumbled, putting his thumb in his mouth until Buffy reminded him that big boys don't do that.

"Oh dear" Giles replied to the child, looking at Buffy who glanced away.

"He's okay" she shook her head, "Angel would never hurt us, he's just... it's complicated" she said vaguely and Giles didn't like what he was hearing, or rather what he was not hearing. This young woman was apparently his daughter and the child on her knees was his grandson. It sounded as if his son-in-law was not all he should be and that made Giles worry. Still, before he panicked over Buffy's marital status he wanted to get to know her better.

"Buffy, my dear, do you think I might get to know you better?" he asked, "I understand this has all come as a terrible shock to you, I must say it was quite a surprise for me also" he admitted, "but we are family, that much is apparent. Even if I cannot be a father to you, could we at least try to be friends do you think?"

The blonde seemed to consider it for a moment before looking warily at him. She didn't like the way he reacted to what Michael said about Angel. It was nobody's business but hers what happened in her marriage, least of all a father she didn't know about until a few minutes ago.

"I don't know" she said eventually, "This is all too much, too fast" she shook her head, "I don't know if I need another friend, or another father, I just..."

She was interrupted by banging and crashing on the other side of the front door before it finally swung open and thumped against the wall loudly.

"Angel" Buffy said quietly to herself, closing her eyes and wishing him away. This was all she needed right now.

"Hey, Daddy's home!" he exclaimed, laughing almost maniacally.

"Go to your room, Michael" Buffy muttered, dropping the little boy down off her lap and watching him scuttle away, "Angel, what are you doing here?" she asked him angrily as he slammed the door shut and made the whole apartment shake.

"Hey, there's my girl" her husband slurred, leaning on her as she came towards him, "Vegas was a bust, baby. Couple of the guys got arrested for pickin' up hookers, me and Doyle had to run for it" he laughed once again and Buffy had never been so embarrassed as Giles watched the scene with distaste.

"You're drunk" Buffy said pushing him away, "Why don't you go sleep it off" she advised, shoving him towards the bedroom.

Finally it seemed Angel noticed Giles.

"Who's this?" he asked nastily, looking daggers at his wife, "While the cats away, huh?"

"You're sick and pathetic" Buffy told him as she continued to manoeuvre him towards the bedroom, "I'm the last person who would lie and cheat, despite the fact nobody would blame me if I did" she snapped, "Stay there til you're sober" she muttered, as he fell through the door and landed on the bed, almost asleep already, he was so damn drunk. Buffy closed the door and turned to Giles with a sigh.

"I think you should go" she told him as he got up and she ushered him towards the front door, just wanting this whole thing to be over.

"Buffy, my dear, I will leave if you wish it, but please give me a chance to see you again tomorrow?" he almost begged of her, "I'm headed back to England very early on Tuesday, and I understand that perhaps you're glad for it but I..."

"I'll come and find you, at the hotel, tomorrow" she promised in a whisper as they got to the door, "I don't know what time but... I'll come say goodbye"

"Thankyou" Giles smiled, though he'd much rather the situation were different, that he didn't have to say goodbye so soon to the daughter and indeed the grandson he'd just discovered.

When Buffy finally shut the door on her new father, she was already dreading how the rest of the day would go with Angel now drunk and soon to be hung-over. Then there was tomorrow, and she must find an excuse to go out and see Giles, that'd be a headache in itself, but she'd do it, she had to.

_To Be Continued..._


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N : Just a couple more chapters and I promise Spike will be back! It's taking longer to get to that point than I thought but we will get there, I swear. For now, here's the next chapter...  
**_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 5

Straight after breakfast the next morning, Buffy sent Michael to put on his shoes and coat whilst she tidied the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher. Angel was still unconscious on the bed due to the copious amounts of alcohol he'd consumed the last couple of days and nights in Vegas, and Buffy had slept on the couch to avoid disturbing him. She couldn't face a fight right now, didn't want to blurt out something she'd regret later. Her head was filled with thoughts of two different Englishmen and for two very different reasons. Seeing Angel in this state only served to remind her of how different things might've been if she'd not married him, if she was free and single still. She might have run to England with her one night stand just for the hell of it, but she couldn't as things stood. She didn't regret having Michael, not ever, but she regretted marrying Angel almost daily.

Then there was her father, not Hank like she'd always thought, but a Mr Rupert Giles whom up until two days ago she didn't even know existed. Now she was rushing around, getting herself and Michael ready to go and see him, to say goodbye. In all honesty Buffy wasn't sure why she was bothering. It wasn't as if he'd been a Dad to her, she didn't know him at all, but knowing he meant so much to her mother was enough to make her like him, trust him even, without question.

"Ready, Mommy!" Michael called as he came back from his bedroom, shoes and coat on, all ready to leave.

"Ssh, sweetheart" Buffy hushed him, crouching down to his level to check everything he wore was properly fastened, "We don't want to wake Daddy, do we?"

"Uh-uh" Michael said softly, shaking his head as he peered back at his parents bedroom door. The poor boy was scared of his own father, Buffy could see it in his eyes sometimes. Truth was, there were times that Angel even scared her, though she'd never let him know it.

Mother and son left the apartment and began their journey to the hotel where Giles was staying. The whole way Buffy wondered what she was going to say when she got there, whether she could commit to promising they'd visit England or allow him to say he'd come see her again. It had all happened so fast, and so unexpectantly, she had trouble knowing which way was up!

"Well, here goes nothing" she said to herself as she went into the hotel, her little boy's hand held tightly in hers. They walked up to the desk and spoke to the assistant who called to Giles' room and told him they were there. Buffy felt ridiculously out of place and very under-dressed standing there in the reception area of a fancy hotel like this. Michael seemed to be awe of the ornate furnishings and chandeliers, the like of which he'd never seen before. Buffy could barely afford her life as it was, fancy places like this were so out of her league.

"Buffy" Giles smiled as he came down the stairs to meet them, "and Michael too"

"Hi" the blonde smiled as her son ducked behind her legs and hid, "Come on, sweetie, you remember Mr Giles from yesterday"

"Hello, young man" her father smiled as he crouched down to the boys level, "How would you and your mother like to come with me to the park?"

"Can we Mommy?" Michael asked Buffy hopefully.

"I guess it'd be a good place to talk..." she said glancing at Giles then her son, "Sure, we can go"

"Yay!" the little boy bounced up and down with excitement as the little family headed out.

* * *

"Look Mommy!" Michael shrieked as spun around and around on the roundabout with the other kids.

Buffy smiled and waved to him as she sat on the bench with Giles.

"He's a lovely boy, Buffy" he told her, "Joyce must've been so proud"

"She was" she nodded, feeling ridiculously tearful, "Things might've been so different if she'd have known you loved her" she realised as she glanced at the man she must learn to accept as her father.

"Indeed" Giles agreed, swallowing hard, desperate not to make himself look like an idiot by crying over the loss of one he loved for so long, "Buffy, I would so much like to know you better" he told her, repeating words he'd spoken yesterday, before Angel had so rudely interrupted the meeting.

"I kinda think I'd like to know you better too" she agreed, "but it's impossible. We live a whole ocean apart, we barely know each other, and... my life is complicated enough without one more thing to worry about"

"Oh I would not wish to be a burden" Giles assured her, "Quite the contrary in fact"

"What do you mean by that?" Buffy frowned, as she turned to look at him properly. Her father looked down at his hands, apparently unsure about his next move. A moment later he reached into his inside jacket pocket and pulled out a small book.

"Two days ago, when we made the discovery that I was your father" he began, "Buffy, I've never felt so many different things and all at once, I was quite shocked and yet so elated to know there was someone... someone to show that Joyce and I were happy once" he sighed, "In part, I blame myself for not being a part of your life. If I had made more of an effort to contact your mother, come back to America..."

"It's okay" Buffy found herself saying as she put her hand on his, "I don't blame you, I really don't blame anyone. It's in the past, it's not important now"

"Perhaps you can let it go, but I cannot" Giles told her with a shake of his head, "I have missed so much and I really am at a loss as to know how to make it up to you, and indeed Michael. Buffy, please do not be offended, but this is the only way I can think of to prove my sincerest apology for never knowing you"

With that he handed her the book he'd been holding in his hands and Buffy looked at it strangely before opening it up.

"What is this?" she asked, unable to believe her eyes. The book was for a savings account in her name and the amount of zeros that featured in the amount within it made her eyes go wide as serving dishes.

"As I say, I don't wish to offend you" Giles repeated, "I do not suppose for a moment that you cannot look after yourself, but if you would, call this back-dated birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, anything you should've had as a child and didn't..."

"I don't... I can't take this" Buffy told him, though her eyes were still fixed on the numbers before her. Her existing savings account, the one she and Angel shared was mostly over-drawn, and it was all she could do to put a little aside for Michael's future.

"I understand, you feel I am trying to buy your affections" Giles said, glancing away, "but I assure you Buffy, that is not the case. I have no-one to share my wealth with, no wife or other children. I cannot turn back the clock and be the father and grandfather I ought to have been. This is all I can do" he explained, "At least I know I might be helping, if not for you now then perhaps for Michael's future. I need to know I have tried to do something for you, Buffy"

"I don't know what to say" the blonde admitted. This would simple things up so much, to have money of her own that Angel knew nothing of. She could buy things for Michael, save some for his future, and if it all got too much with her husband, she had a means of escape. Still, could she really take money from this random guy she only met two days ago? Bearing in mind they were almost one hundred percent certain he was her father, it wouldn't be entirely inappropriate.

"I don't need you to say anything really" Giles told her, daring to take her hand in his, "I only ask that perhaps you could keep in touch?" he suggested, pulling a small piece of paper from his pocket, "If it makes you uncomfortable I understand but..."

"I'll keep in touch" she promised tearfully taking the paper from his hand. She managed a smile that only grew when she heard Michael's joyful laughter as one of his friends pushed him on the swings.

"You look very like your mother you know" Giles told Buffy, "When you smile like that"

"Thank you" she replied softly, glad to know she possessed some of her mother's beauty, and that in some strange way her memory would live on in her.

She glanced down at her watch and her smile turned to a frown.

"We should really go" she realised and Giles looked disappointed.

"Really? So soon? I was hoping to spend a little more time getting to know you" he told her.

"I'm sorry" Buffy apologised as she got up, "That would've been great but... I should be home when Angel wakes up" she said, looking away, knowing she'd get some disapproving look from him that she got from everybody. Nobody understood why she stayed with him anymore.

Buffy fetched her son and told him to say goodbye to Mr Giles which he dutifully did, before the two adults turned to each other.

"I am so happy to have met you, Buffy" he said sincerely. She wasn't sure how to reply and so decided just to hug him briefly. When they pulled apart there were tears in both their eyes.

"One chance event" he smiled fondly, "My last night in America... it is hard to believe that one single night led to this, my having such a beautiful daughter and grandson" he looked fondly on the two of them one last time before Buffy said a final goodbye and walked away, turning back at the park gates to wave and have Michael do the same.

Tears crept down her cheeks as they headed for home and she fought to control herself. If Angel saw her crying he'd want an explanation and that she wasn't prepared to give. She managed a smile as she replayed Giles' words, about her being his beautiful daughter. Compliments were few and far between in her life of late, the only other genuine one she could recall recently was from Spike, almost a month ago. He'd said she was beautiful too, and he'd certainly made her feel that way when he made love to her. One single night but it had meant a great deal to Buffy.

One single night, the simple phrase echoed in her mind and she heard Giles voice inside her head.

"Oh God" she gasped, suddenly stopping walking and almost tripping over her son.

"Mommy?" Michael said, looking up at her, "Why did we stop?"

Buffy shook her head, finding it impossible to give a verbal answer right now. She did a mental calculation and suddenly felt very faint.

"Come on, sweetie" she forced a smile as she tugged on Michael's hand and they went back up the street and crossed the road.

With a sigh Buffy took her son with her to the drugstore, praying to God she'd made a mistake, but seriously wondering if she could possibly be pregnant with the child of a man she'd met only once.

_To Be Continued..._


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N : I promise Spike will return in the next chapter, but here's hoping that you enjoy this chapter in the meantime! Sorry about the cliffhanger at the end of the previous chapter, but it will now be resolved, so keep reading!  
**_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 6

It should've felt right to be back in England, but despite the fact Giles had been home for a week he still felt out of synch with his surroundings. His mind constantly drifted back to America, to memories of time spent with Joyce Carter so many years ago, and then to thoughts of his new-found daughter and grandson.

It was insane to think he was a father, the very idea of it amused him since he was such a confirmed old bachelor these days. There had been one or two women in his life over the years, but in his heart, Giles had always loved Joyce and no-one else would ever mean as much to him. To think that in their one and only night of passion they had made a child and that little girl had grown into such a beautiful young woman with her baby of her own. So many times he drifted off into a daze as he went over it all in his mind.

Some might say he was a silly old fool, handing over his money as he had without any actual proof or solid evidence that Buffy was in fact his daughter. Still, Giles knew it, when she smiled she looked just like her mother, just like dear Joyce. The mathematics proved the rest since he knew he was the first man to be with her, she hadn't lied, he would've known. She had married Hank Summers, passed Buffy off as their daughter and carried on for over fifteen years until finally they had divorced.

In some ways Giles was glad of that, to think that Joyce was not happy enough to remain married to her husband, meant perhaps her feelings for he himself had never fully gone away. However, the Englishman could not be entirely pleased about his former lovers parting with her husband. She must have been unhappy in her marriage, and he could not bear to think of her suffering. The illness she went through, the way Buffy must have agonised over her mother's journey towards imminent death. Giles close his eyes and tried to push the painful thoughts away as he poured himself another scotch and downed it fast.

He rarely drank to excess, just the occasional shot in times of stress or to aid his sleep or health. These past few days he'd found a great deal of alcohol had passed his lips, an aid to the pain and guilt he felt. When he arrived home from a busy day he found he could spend many hours just sitting and drinking, recalling the past and considering the future until some sound or movement would pull him back to reality. One night it had been a thunderstorm, another the telephone. Today it was a knock at his door, something rather strange when one considered it was past midnight and his was the only house for several miles.

Cautiously he put down his drink and got up from the couch. A man with a great fortune as he was, he was a target for thieves and untrustworthy people. He paused by the fireplace to pick up the poker that stood there as he went by to the door. A second knock was heard before near silence returned, save for the pitter patter of rain on the windows.

When Giles finally cracked open the door he couldn't believe his eyes.

"Good heavens" he gasped, pushing the door wide open and throwing the poker aside as he realised the people looking back at him were no threat at all.

The young blonde held her child close to her, pushing her rain soaked hair from her face and glancing between her luggage and the man before her.

"Hey... Dad" Buffy smiled uncertainly, "Can we come in?"

* * *

"Thank you" Buffy said gratefully a she took the steaming mug of cocoa from her father and held it with both hands in an attempt to warm her fingers. Michael had been dried off and put to bed in one of the spare rooms. The poor boy was dead on his feet and only too glad to rest when offered the chance. Buffy herself had changed her clothes and attempted to towel dry her hair as she curled up by the fire in Giles' living room. He'd offered her a hot drink and now here they were, sitting opposite each others with mugs in their hands and it was time for some sort of explanation.

"I am of course exceptionally glad to see you, Buffy..." her father began.

"But you kinda want to know how come we just showed up on your doorstep in the middle of the night" she finished for him, putting her mug down on the table, "I know I've got a lot of nerve just showing up like this" she sighed, "I just, I didn't know what else to do" she admitted as tears came to her eyes. Giles heart went out to her and he put down his own drink, reaching to put his hand on her arm.

"In your own time, my dear" he said softly, "Tell me what has happened"

"It started the day you left" she sniffed, determined not to make her fool of herself by crying, "Something you said got me thinking. How you and my Mom were only... together one time"

"It is the truth" Giles nodded not yet understanding.

"I... things with Angel are awkward" Buffy went on to explain, looking down at her feet, "I married him for Michael's sake, because my Mom and his parents thought we should. I was young and I thought I was in love... it just didn't work out how I thought" she shook her head, glancing at Giles and then back down at the pattern in the carpet, "We weren't happy, either of us. He was always ridiculously jealous of Michael and the attention I had to show him. He was just a child, it wasn't his fault, but Angel would get angry, worse when he was drunk. He didn't want us around most of the time and when he did want me I... I couldn't bear him near me anymore" she shuddered at the very thought.

"You've left him?" Giles checked and Buffy nodded slowly.

"I had to" she explained, looking up at him, "I said it started the day you left... that's not entirely true" she admitted, "It started before that, three weeks before, with another guy..."

She looked away again, guilt taking over as well as embarrassment about what she was saying and to whom.

"I'm not proud of myself" she told the chair more than her Dad, "and I didn't mean for it to happen but... I guess you could say I had an affair"

"Oh" was all Giles could find to say for several moments as he tried to work out how best to continue, "This other man, how long have you known him?"

Buffy laughed at that but there was no humour in it, only pain.

"I don't know him" she chuckled, her laughter fast turning into sobs, "I met him once, in a bar. I was supposed to be at a party for my friends' engagement but I wasn't in the mood. We got talking, me and this guy, we had a few drinks and... and..."

"And one thing led to another?" Giles guessed.

Buffy nodded silently, wiping tears from her cheeks.

"It sounds so pathetic I know but, it was the best night of my entire life" she admitted with a sad smile, "Nobody ever wanted me like that. I never felt so... alive"

There was a long moment of silent pause when neither father nor daughter knew what best to say next. Though Giles' was curious to know how this one night a month ago had led to Buffy leaving her husband and coming here, and she in turn wanted to tell all, neither could find the words for a long while. They didn't know each other as well as parent and child should, still the conversation soon began again.

"I thought I could forget him" Buffy said softly, "He was on vacation and that was his last night, I figured it wouldn't matter I could just put him out of my head and get on with my life" she sighed, "I almost managed it, least I think I maybe could have, except a part of him never left at all"

"Buffy...?" Giles looked at her questioningly, wondering if a theory forming in his head was indeed correct.

"I'm pregnant" she confirmed, her voice wavering as she confessed, "I realised after what you said that I might be, it only takes one time and... I knew I could never get rid of it, it's a part of me and I couldn't have done that" she cried, "If Angel found out, my God I really think he might've killed me" she sobbed and Giles moved to sit on the arm of her chair, pulling her into a hug as tears poured from her eyes.

"Oh my dear girl" he said, feeling tearful himself as he took her in his arms and held her tight.

What a mess Buffy had got herself into, Giles was only glad he was here to bring her some help and comfort now. If he had not found her by accident more than design, he didn't like to think what might have become of the poor girl. As she said herself, her husband would have reacted badly to her news and even from the short amount of time Giles had seen Angel, he was almost certain she was not exaggerating much in presuming he might attempt homicide.

"I'm sorry" Buffy sniffed, pulling out of her father's arms, "You probably didn't expect all this when you met me"

"Indeed" Giles agreed with her, "but Buffy, the fact remains that I am your father, and whatever assistance you need, I intend to give it as best I can"

"You don't even know me" she pointed out but he seemed unfazed by the fact.

"You are mistaken, Buffy" he smiled fondly at her, "You are your mother's daughter as well as mine, in looks and more. I feel I know you already, and I hope to know you even better if you will allow it"

"I don't deserve you being nice to me" she sniffed some more, wiping her face on the back of her hand until Giles offered her a handkerchief.

"Buffy, whilst I do not know exactly what your life with Angel entailed" he said carefully, "If he made you as unhappy as it seems he did, you had every right to want to leave him"

The blonde nodded absently as she tried to stay calm. She picked up her drink from the table and took a few more sips, finding it was cool enough to manage now without burning her tongue.

"Does he know where you have gone?" Giles asked her and she shook her head.

"Nobody does" she admitted, "I didn't want my friends to have to lie if he asked them... if he even bothers to ask" she said sadly, staring into her mug, "I know he doesn't love me anymore, just the same as I don't love him. I tried to still care about him but he made it impossible"

"Some people find it too difficult to be loved and to love others as they deserve" her father told her, "You are not to blame for that"

"I know" Buffy nodded, "but I hate that I made myself as bad as he is. He cheats on me, I know he does. He thinks he hides it but..." she laughed humourlessly, "I hid mine, he had no idea I'd spent the night with another guy. I don't think he cared enough to notice"

"Then I don't suppose he deserves you" Giles told her, a comforting hand on her shoulder that she appreciated right now.

"I left a note" she told him, finishing off her cocoa, "I waited til he drank so much he passed out again. I left the note on the table and dragged the suitcases out from where I hid them - under Michael's bed, he never goes in his son's room. Then we ran for the airport, didn't look back once. I spent a lot of your money" she said guiltily as she looked up at her father, "You said it was for the future, mine and Michael's. I want our future to be here, if that's okay"

Giles could hardly believe what he was hearing. For a week he'd done nothing but wish he could be spending time with is new-found daughter and her son. He was mentally planning when he might get away, visit America again. Now here were the very people he longed to spend his time with, and Buffy was asking of they might stay indefinitely.

"Buffy, I..." he began only to have her interrupt.

"I know it's more complicated than just us staying" she admitted, "There's a whole paperwork issue and everything if we really want to stay here for good and I don't expect to live off you forever, I mean I'll get a job and everything..."

"Calm down, Buffy" Giles told her with an amused smile. He'd never known a woman who could get quite so many words into one long sentence without pausing for breath, except perhaps for a young lady named Joyce Carter...

"Of course you can stay here, for as long as you wish it" he told his daughter, "I'll be happy to have you and Michael, and indeed your new child, share my home"

"Thank you so much" Buffy cried happier tears this time as she reached to hug her father. She was just so glad to have found him.

_To Be Continued..._


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N : You guys are so kind in your reviews and have waited so long for Spike's return. As promised he is in this chapter, so what are you waiting for? Read on!**

Chapter 7

One month. Buffy could barely believe it'd been that long since she'd left California with her son and arrived on her real father's doorstep, and yet so much had happened. Giles was so great, he'd taken them in without question and promised to do anything he could for them both. Michael had adjusted without any problems, since he had very few friends to speak of in Sunnydale and his father treated him badly, if he even paid attention to him at all. In England, Michael found new friends as soon as he started at the local school, children of course were always intrigued by the new kid, especially since he had an accent and everything. Buffy loved to see him come running from the gates into her arms, smiling and chatting animatedly about what he'd done all day.

Buffy herself was glad to spend time with Giles, getting to know him better. He insisted she did not have to worry about getting a job just yet since he had much more money that he needed and was happy to look after her for a while. He was careful not to offend her, and insisted it was not an attempt to buy her affections, which she completely understood. She was so grateful for all he was doing, and so thrilled when they found out for definite that he was her Dad.

In order for Buffy and Michael to be allowed to stay in the country, real proof had to be given that she was Giles' daughter and so a DNA test was arranged. As certain as they were of their connection, it was a great relief to actually hear a genuine positive result from the doctor. With a richEnglish father willing to support her and her child, Buffy was accepted into Britain with no problems at all, and the paperwork was duly signed and stamped.

As much as she liked the idea of being a lady of leisure in some ways, Buffy found she needed to keep herself active. She would clean the house and cook meals for Giles whilst he was out at work even when he insisted she didn't have to. After a while she realised it might be good for her to get a job, just during the hours Michael was in school perhaps, but she really wasn't qualified for anything. It had been on her mind a few days, most especially today as she scrubbed inside the oven for something to do. Music blared from the stereo to make the task of cleaning a little more fun, but with the heavy beat and her head inside the oven, she didn't hear Giles come up behind her until the music suddenly disappeared.

"Oh, hey" she smiled when she turned and found him behind her, hand still at the stereo where he'd turned it off, "You don't like my taste in music, huh?

"No, that wasn't why I switched it off" Giles assured her, "I simply wanted to get your attention without startling you" he explained.

"Attention got with lack of startle-age" she nodded as she got to her feet, "What in particular did you need me for?"

"Buffy, really" he sighed, "As I have said on countless occasions you musn't feel you have to do all this cleaning and so forth"

"Giles, we talked about this" she reminded him.

As a rule she didn't call him Dad, it still felt a little strange and he quite understood. She therefore called him by his last name much as everyone else did, and only very occasionally had any affectionate father-type terms passed her lips. Michael had quite taken to calling him Grandpa Giles though and that pleased him greatly.

"Indeed we have discussed your obsession with the housework before" he agreed as Buffy pulled off the gloves she'd been wearing to clean the oven and tidied up some of the mess she'd made, "I know you'd like to have a job Buffy, and that my just giving you something to do would not be satisfying for you. You're a bright young woman, my dear, and as we both know quite capable of doing a great many things"

"Is this little pep talk gonna get pointy anytime soon?" she asked, with a slight frown. So far her father was not making a huge amount of sense.

"Well, yes, as a matter of fact, I did have a point" Giles nodded, handing her some leaflets from the top of the pile of books and paper under his arm.

"Classes?" Buffy realised, "For the mature student?"

"Yes, some are in the evenings, but others are during school hours for mothers like yourself" Giles explained, gesturing to a couple of the booklets in her hands, "I thought perhaps there would be something you'd like to study, get a qualification in. It may perhaps lead you to getting the sort of job you deserve" he suggested, a little worried that she'd hate the idea. It had seemed like such a capital plan at first, but Giles found the closer he got to the house, the more worried he became that Buffy would throw these leaflets back in his face and tell him he was being ridiculous in suggesting such a thing. The smile on her face was a great relief to him.

"Giles, that is such a great idea" Buffy told him, though her grin slipped a little as she thought about it, "This learning thing would require cash though and I don't know if I could..."

"Buffy, you know I'm quite happy to pay for you to do this, if it's something you really want" her father assured her, "and I don't wish to hear any talk of your not being worth it, or some such rubbish. You are my daughter, Buffy, and I will spoil you if I wish it" he told her firmly, but with a smile.

"Then thankyou" she smiled back, reaching up to hug him and kiss his cheek, "You are a great father" she told him sincerely and he felt ridiculously emotional at her words. Buffy, having realised what she'd said, was quick to leave the room, feeling a little teary herself, though she put some of that down to her pregnancy.

It was almost two months since the child was conceived and Buffy had been to the doctors just once to confirm it. Another month and she'd start to show, be forced to accept the fact she was going to be a mother to two children instead of just the one. She hadn't told Michael yet, after all nothing was certain with pregnancies, all kind of things could happen and until she was past the three month stage she didn't want to risk it. Michael would get so upset if, heaven forbid, she lost the baby. That was strange to Buffy, how the thought of losing this child filled her with dread. It was far from a perfect scenario, having the baby of some random guy you only met and slept with once, but the baby that grew inside her was a part of her, in more than one way. The thought had crossed her mind that Spike could be within a few miles of where she stood right now. She was in England after all, and so was he, though she knew the chances of them running into each other again were approximately zero, she couldn't help but wonder about it sometimes.

In daydreams, and sometimes those when she slept, she saw him, her one night stand that had meant so much more than he ought to have done. He'd show up on the doorstep, with a story of how he'd tracked her down, fought through hell and high water to be at her side. She'd fall into his arms and they'd kiss passionately, stagger back into the bedroom and... Well, it didn't always go that way, sometimes she bumped into him in the street, they'd go back to his apartment somewhere, he'd tell her he couldn't stop thinking about her, that somehow he'd fallen in love with her, and when he kissed her it was fireworks and molten lava as they stumbled towards the bedroom and... Okay, so there was a recurring theme of the bed variety, but what else did Buffy really know about this guy, other than his skills in that department? That and his looks were enough to make her wish she really could meet him again but she knew it was hardly practical.

Spike was exactly what he seemed to be, just a daydream. Yes, that daydream had come true one night, but now normal programming had been resumed and he lived only in her mind and fantasies. The baby she was having was hers alone, no-one elses, and her life would go on without a man in it, not counting her father and son of course because that was a different thing entirely.

Right now, she didn't need romance, Buffy realised as she sat on the cushioned seat in the bay window at the back of the house, looking out at the spectacular view of open fields and trees. The sky was a perfect shade of blue and Buffy mentally kicked herself for realising it was the same colour as Spike's eyes, almost exactly. It was strange but that was one thing she remembered most clearly about him, the intense look in his eyes as he'd taken her to the dizzy heights of passion that she knew she'd never reached with anyone else before or would again.

"Less day-dreaming, more reading" she told herself as she opened up the leaflets Giles had given her and read about various courses she could take at a number of locations in the area. The English programmes caught her eye in particular. In High School she'd enjoyed studying plays and poems and such, and though she didn't excel at it as much as she'd like to have done, she really got into it in a big way for a while. Angel soon distracted her from any kind of study and thoughts of possibly taking English as her major in college flew out of the window the day she found herself pregnant with his child. Though Buffy never regretted having Michael, not once, she did sometimes regret ever accepting Angel's first offer of a date.

He hadn't bothered to try and find her, or if he had he'd been wholly unsuccessful and not even tried the obvious options. Buffy knew that, since she'd called up Jenny as well as Willow and Xander a couple of weeks ago to tell them she was okay, and why she'd left. They swore to keep her location and condition a secret and that they'd let her know should Angel come around asking about her. Since they never let her know about it, Buffy assumed he never bothered, and whilst that was in one way a huge relief, it was a painful blow in another.

Checking her watch Buffy realised it was almost time for her to pick Michael up from school and leaving the booklets on the table she went to get cleaned up before she left. Tonight she'd take another look at possible courses after her son had gone to bed. So far it looked highly likely that she'd be taking some English classes very soon.

* * *

"Well, what did he say?" Giles asked as Buffy came off the phone.

It was two days since he'd brought home some information for her regarding various classes she might take to further her education and Buffy had quite decided she wanted to study English. The course that seemed most appealing however had started the week before, but Giles had suggested since she'd only missed the one class perhaps Buffy could have a word with the professor and see if she might not be able to catch up.

The call had just been made and Giles was eager to know what had been said.

"I didn't actually talk to the professor, he's not there right now" Buffy explained, "but the nice lady that took my call said if I go in later, after four, I could talk to him then"

"Splendid" Giles smiled, "I can be home by then and look after young Michael whilst you go. How does that sound?"

"Perfect" Buffy smiled, as she hugged him, "Thankyou so much for all you're doing, you have no idea how much it means to me"

"On the contrary, my dear" Giles told her softly, "You really have no idea what _you_ mean to me"

* * *

Buffy felt ridiculously nervous as she arrived at the college. There were so many young people around, she felt very out of place, despite the fact she was hardly any older than several of them. Being a mother and a married woman made her feel older though, way older, and that was unsettling. Still, the classes she would be attending were for the 'mature student' as the leaflets stated. Other mothers, and maybe fathers, and general older type people who wanted to learn for one reason or another. She was sure she'd feel much less out of place in the actual class, that was of course if she was allowed to join. She needed to speak to the professor about catching up first.

A kind woman at the office directed her to Room 117 where she would apparently find the guy who taught the English course she wished to take. Buffy stood outside the door for several minutes before she dared to knock. She heard an English voice call 'come in' and she did so, though she could not immediately see where the man was.

"Er, hello?" she called into the apparently empty room, "I'm looking for Professor William Armstrong, I was told he was here" she said uncertainly when suddenly a figure appeared from behind a display board at the back of the room and came towards her.

"You've come to the right place, pet" he smiled as he approached her, but the smile slipped off his face when he saw who he was speaking too, "Bloody hell" he gasped as Buffy physically reeled back til she hit the wall.

"Oh my God" she blinked, "Spike?" she breathed, moments before the world went black.

_To Be Continued..._

**A/N : See? I told you Spike would be in this chapter. Okay, so he only had one line but you can't have everything! Next chapter will have lots of Spike and Buffy content, and that's a promise. In the meantime reviews would be great...**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N : I really should've written and posted the next chapter of On The Other Side, before I wrote/posted this, but you guys all reviewed so much, and were so eager to read the next chapter, plus I really wanted to get some Spuffy going on here! Here's hoping my efforts paid off and that all you rockin' readers and reviewers like my latest chapter!  
**_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 8

When Buffy opened her eyes she vaguely remembered a beautiful dream, another of those pretty fantasies where she'd found Spike again. Just walked into a room and there he was, all ready to sweep her off her feet and... Buffy's train of thought stopped for a moment when she shifted her body and realised it was not her nice comfy bed or even the couch beneath her, but something solid and wooden, like a table maybe?

"What the...?" she said absently as she opened her eyes and attempted to get herself into a sitting position. A strong hand on her arm and another on her back helped her with her task and as the swimming in her head calmed and her eyes refocused she realised that dream she'd been having might not have been in her subconscious after all.

"Am I dreaming?" she checked, blinking overly much.

"Took the words right out of my mouth, pet" Spike smiled slightly, "Was just wondering the same thing, right before you passed out into my arms"

"How did...? What is...?" these and a million other words and fractured questions sped round Buffy's brain fast enough to make her dizzy all over again. No sentence seemed to be able to make it all the way out of her mouth in the right order at all.

"Er, luv" Spike got her attention a she glanced away, "You got to help me out here, are you just as confused and stunned as I am, or is the blacking out a factor? I mean, should I call a doctor or something?"

"No, no, no doctor" Buffy shook her head gentle, mindful of her delicate head, "I'm fine I guess it's just the b... big shock" she covered when she realised what she'd been about to say - Baby.

"Say that again, luv" Spike nodded, "Gotta say you were the last person I expected to see here, anywhere in fact" he told her, sitting down on the chair by the desk he'd put her on, "Buffy I... I honestly don't know what to say, despite the fact I've had this scene go round in my head at least once a day since..."

"Me too" she admitted without thinking as their eyes met and Buffy was suddenly very self conscious about how she looked and the fact she was half sitting-half laying on a desk, "Um, you think maybe I could have a chair instead of being up here?" she asked with a nervous laugh and Spike almost physically hit himself in the forehead for being such an idiot. He dragged a seat over near to his as Buffy got down from the desk and sat beside him. Silence reigned for several moments and then when they finally did speak it was both at once.

"I'm sorry, ladies first" Spike told her chivalrously.

"No really, you go" Buffy urged him. She hadn't really known what she was going to say anyway and had simply hoped that after the first couple of words the rest would just come to her, which it really hadn't.

"Just wanted you to know" Spike told her, glancing down at his hands and then back up at her face, "I don't make a habit of going on my holidays, shagging the nearest bird and then flying off into the sunset" he assured her.

"Not really my thing to go sleeping with random guys I meet in bars either" she replied in kind, "I mean, I wouldn't want you to think I was some kind of whore cos I'm really not I..."

"I never thought that" he said quickly, his hand landing on hers where it lay in her lap.

She nodded dumbly that she understood, no words coming to mind as their eyes met once again, and she realised with a slight smile that her memory of his eyes was not the least contrived. They really were that beautiful blue that the sky sometimes turned on a really good day, and she knew if she looked too long she'd start drowning again, just as she had the night he'd made love to her.

"Er, I had no idea you were an English teacher" she said, feeling her cheeks burn as images of that fateful night ran through her mind, "but then I guess we didn't exactly talk much..." she trailed off, looking down at her hands, infinitely grateful that he'd let up his hold on one of them. His fingers wrapped around hers only served to remind her in vivid detail where else his hands had touched her, how wonderful he'd made her feel.

"...but yeah, I enjoy it and it pays well enough" she heard him say as she tuned back in to his voice, "I hazard a guess you were interested in joining the class then, since you seemed to have no idea I was teaching it"

"Yeah" Buffy nodded, "It was my Dad's idea that I take some classes and I always liked English. It would've been my major in college, if I'd actually gotten a chance to go but..." she was about to mention Michael when she realised Spike knew nothing of her child, or even her marriage. In fact as she thought back she noted, he didn't even know her last name, and that scared her to death. Whilst she and Spike knew each other's bodies in intimate detail, they knew practically nothing of value, no details of their lives or families or anything.

"Life doesn't always go like you planned" Spike smiled, his double meaning not lost on Buffy.

"It doesn't" she agreed, "Kinda wacky how I found you here like this, I never thought I'd see you again"

"Same here, pet" Spike admitted, "'Specially since you had me believin' Sunnyhell was home"

"Sunnydale is home" Buffy frowned, "Or was at least. I lived there all my life until a month ago, everything's been a little crazy the last few weeks"

"Don't s'pose you chose England to run too cos you thought..." he started, stopping again and smiling wryly, "Don't be stupid, Spike, that'd be really idiotic" he told himself, looking away.

"If I thought it'd be this simple to find you I might've come sooner" Buffy admitted, unsure as to whether she should have said the words within seconds of them leaving her lips, "You've been on my mind kind of a lot" she told him, though she could feel her cheeks turn pink with embarrassment. To think of him was to think of what they did and that was something a little awkward to confess.

"Made my vacation special, that's for sure" Spike told her with a smile, "Never gonna forget that"

"Me either" Buffy replied, eyes down and finding the whole situation much more uncomfortable than she thought it'd be. In her head, her reunion with Spike, should it ever occur, was to be all romantic and sexy. In reality it was just embarrassing and kinda weird.

"Um, are you feeling okay now, luv?" Spike checked, "I mean, I know you had a shock but you were out for a couple of minutes"

"It's fine, really" Buffy answered quickly, "I just... I guess I'm just one of those people that passes out a lot" she laughed nervously, "Slightest stress or surprise and there I am, flat on my back again... not in that way obviously, I... oh, bad, bad Buffy" she cursed herself, hiding her face in her hands.

"Believe me, pet, reckon we both got the same mental imagery" he smirked, "Y'know I'll bet I spent half the time since I met you thinkin' about seein' you again" he admitted, "Now you're sittin' right there and, rehearsals be damned, I can't think of a damn thing to say to you"

"I know how you feel" Buffy sighed, meaning that sincerely, "I guess it was just kind of a daydream before. I never thought I'd really walk into a room and there you'd be" she shook her head, still wondering vaguely if she wasn't going to wake up in her bed in just a minute, this having all been another fantasy, although she doubted it could be since he hadn't kissed her yet.

Looking down at her hands in her lap, she noticed her watch on her wrist. She'd been in this room half an hour, so Mickey Mouse was telling her from the face of her watch. She smiled as she recalled buying it, Michael convincing her it was the best one in the whole store, despite rows of gold and silver having caught her eye before. Still, she'd bought the one he'd chosen and she loved to wear it everyday. As she glanced back up and found Spike still looking at her she almost physically winced.

He didn't know she had a son, and though she'd left Angel she technically still had a husband too. She'd been not-so-happily married and with a family and yet she'd fallen into his bed all too easily. She couldn't tell him that, couldn't let Spike know she was that kind of woman, not that she was, she'd never done anything like this before but, there was no way for him to know that for sure.

"Somethin' wrong, luv?" he asked her, and Buffy realised her worry must have shown on her face.

"Er, yeah, no, I just..." she rambled a little as she got to her feet, her beautiful fantasy ideas giving way to serious thoughts of how she'd never be able to really make a life or anything substantial with this guy. She was having his baby and yet she knew almost nothing about him, she had to be insane.

"I have to go" Buffy said quickly as she made of the door, internally cursing herself for being such a fool, for having all those pretty dreams of love and passion and happy-ever-after endings. Life wasn't like that, she knew from past experience, what seemed good turned bad, especially when things got serious and complicated, where marriages and babies were involved.

"But I will see you again?" Spike said hopefully, "Waited so long, pet" he told her, "Can hardly believe you walked through that door but you did and... I got a chance to know you better now, and I wanna do that"

"Why?" Buffy asked too softly as he moved towards her and stood by her at the door.

"Because... because I can't get you out of my head" Spike told her honestly, "Because that one night with you doesn't compare to anything I ever had with anyone else"

"You can't base a friendship, a relationship, anything on one night" she said bitterly, having just realised it herself and hating that she had, "I have a life, one that you don't know anything about" she told him, feeling almost tearful about it, but then she guessed that was her hormones getting all out of whack because of the baby.

"And so do I, but that doesn't mean we can't get to know each other" Spike said almost desperately, trying to make her see what he was feeling. He'd love to show her but there were rules here. That night in that club in America, and then in the hotel, it was just the two of them, both a little lost and a little drunk and just needing something that they found in each other. Here he was a teacher, she was a potential student and he'd got her backed up against the door looking like a frightened rabbit. As much as he wished today had gone differently, he couldn't make her want him and he wouldn't try, not this way.

"I really have to go" Buffy told him, shifting uncomfortably and turning to get the door open. Spike moved away from her to make the task easier, unable to watch as she walked out of the room. He hadn't seen her go last time, had no chance to stop her. This time he did and of all the stupid things he was too bloody scared to try. He didn't know this woman, not in a real sense. He didn't know how she'd react to anything he did, and because of that he was going to lose her from his life all over again. Spike wasn't sure he could let that happen.

On the other side of the door, Buffy leant against the wall, breathing deeply to try and calm herself. The close proximity of Spike's body to hers had done nothing for her concentration, and in the end she just had to get out. She'd been insane to think it would be perfect, so much the romantic novel if they ever met again. That was for books and movies only, but then when he'd made love to her that night she'd felt like she was in one of those stories, it'd been so intensely perfect. Now she was walking out on the only man that had ever made her feel such wonderful things, and she wasn't sure if she could actually do it.

With a sigh Buffy turned back to the door and knocked, it opened immediately and she guessed he'd been standing right there on the other side, maybe waiting for her to come back. Neither was sure who moved first as their arms went around each other and they kissed with some considerable passion, Spike being sure to get them both through the door and close it fast before anybody saw them.

Back against the door, being kissed almost senseless, Buffy couldn't believe this was happening, but this was no daydream, not anymore, they never felt this good. Memory and imagination alone could not do justice to the way Spike could make her feel, and they'd barely even begun. Buffy also knew they had to stop before they went too far again, but it took all her strength to tell him so.

"Spike" she gasped, making a half-hearted attempt to push him away, "Really, we can't" she told him, though as soon as he stopped kissing her she pulled him right back to her for more. It was crazy but she couldn't help herself, she'd waited too long to feel this way again, and it almost scared her to death how just his lips on hers and his hands through her clothing could make her feel ten times more than she'd ever felt making love with Angel.

Thoughts of her husband pulled her up sharply and this time she meant it when she told Spike they had to stop.

"This is insane" she said, breathing heavily when they finally let each other go.

Buffy walked a few steps past him and further into the room. If she didn't put some distance between them they weren't going to get anywhere, or rather more accurately they'd get somewhere they shouldn't go right now.

"I dunno what it is, pet" Spike told her, though she couldn't look at him yet, "Just know I never felt anything like it... You mean something to me Buffy, somehow you got under my skin and..."

"And I shouldn't have" she said with a shake of her head, "Spike, do you not get how wrong all this is?" she asked, finally sparing him a glance.

"Well, 's not exactly the conventional way to date a woman" he smirked, "But I don't see the big wrong aspect here, I mean it's not like we're cheating on anyone, is it?" he checked, head tilted as he stared at her.

Buffy stared back, swallowing hard and feeling terribly sick now. She had cheated, on Angel, and in a sense she still was since her marriage wasn't legally over. She also had a child to consider and another that grew inside her. How the hell she was supposed to tell Spike all that, a man that in real terms she barely knew. Buffy quite honestly had no idea where to begin.

"I was right before" she said suddenly making for the door at speed, "I have to go" she told him as she made to walk out a second time, with no intent of coming straight back in on this occasion.

"Buffy!" Spike called after her, "I will see you again, right?" he checked as she turned back at the door.

"I... I don't know" she said looking pained, "I really don't think I'll be taking this class now" she admitted, shaking her head, a small laugh escaping her lips, "You wouldn't be great for the concentration"

Spike wasn't quite sure whether that was a back-handed compliment or something else, but he'd take what he could get right now.

"Wait a second" he said, realising she really was going this time, he hurried over to the door, "At least tell me your last name, pet, I ought to know that, considering"

She hesitated a moment and then she answered.

"Summers" she told him, "My name is Buffy Summers"

It wasn't strictly true of course, her last name was still O'Reilly and even if she went back to her unmarried name she ought to be Giles now, but her young carefree self was Buffy Summers and that's what she told Spike.

"Summers, eh?" he smirked as he looked at her, "Suits you, luv"

With a half-smile she turned away then and he watched her back as she walked down the corridor and out of the front doors, praying to any power that'd listen, that he would see Buffy Summers again soon.

_To Be Continued..._

**A/N2 : This is the last new chapter of this before Christmas, since I have a couple of short pieces I want to write for the holiday season.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N : Yep, this story is back, and there will be some serious Spuffyness very soon... not so much in this chapter but stick with it cos we'll get there I promise. Also, if anyone wants to talk to me, or each other, about this story or any of my others, I am making use of the new forum option at this site - the link is on my profile page. Hope you like the new chapter :-)  
**_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 9

"Mommy!" Michael squealed, running into her arms as soon as she got through the front door.

"Hey sweetie" she smiled, "You have a good day?" she checked as they came back into the living room where Giles sat in his chair with a children's storybook he'd obviously been reading to her son.

"We did math at school" Michael grinned, "I can count higher than all the other kids in my class" he told her proudly, "And at lunch Mandy Stevenson tried to kiss me" he added, his smile turning into an unimpressed look that almost made Buffy laugh.

"Did you have productive trip to the college, Buffy?" Giles asked her as she sat down opposite him.

"Grandpa Giles says you're gonna go to school Mommy" Michael chipped in, "I thought Mommy's already knew everything" he said with puzzled expression on his little face.

"Nobody knows everything, sweetie" Buffy told him, ruffling his hair, "but no, Mommy probably won't be going back to school after all" she admitted, much to her father's surprise. Still, he kept quiet in front of Michael, since it seemed Buffy didn't want to speak further on the subject with him around.

It was a few hours later when the little boy had been put to bed that Giles came into the living room with two mugs of cocoa to ask his daughter what was troubling her. She'd been too quiet and distant since she got back from the college, and he wanted to know both the reason for this and for her sudden decision not to take the English classes she'd been so set on before.

"I guess you wanna know what's up, right?" Buffy asked, before Giles had a chance to speak.

"If you wish to tell me, I'll gladly listen" he told her as he sat down in the chair opposite where she was on the couch with her legs pulled up underneath herself, "I know we haven't known each other long, Buffy, but I can tell that something is worrying you"

"I went to the college" she began to explain, staring into the mug between her hands, "I met the Professor, and I knew him..." she said, glancing up at her father, "It's Spike"

"Spike?" Giles echoed, not understanding.

"The guy that I..." Buffy said awkwardly, "That night when I was... unfaithful. He's the father of my baby, Giles" she said, one hand going sub-consciously to her stomach, "He's the one man in the world that I never thought I'd see again, the one that I..." her sentence trailed away as she was forced to swallow hard in order to keep her tears at bay. Everything was so mixed up, so complicated, and just when it had felt it was getting a little better too.

"Goodness me" Giles gasped, "What an incredible coincidence"

"Tell me about it" Buffy replied quietly, her voice wavering with emotion, "All the times I thought about it, dreamed about it, and what was the first thing I did when I saw him?" she laughed humourlessly as the herself, "I passed out" she admitted.

"Well, in the circumstances I'm sure he understood" Giles told her kindly, "I mean the shock alone, and then your condition of course"

"I didn't tell him about that" Buffy told him guiltily shaking her head, "I know I probably should've but... Giles, I barely know him, he barely knows me. I have a son and another child on the way, and technically I'm still married"

"Yes, I suppose there are rather a lot of complications that he's not aware of" Giles considered as he removed his glasses and polished them, "Do you think you want to tell him these things, to let him be a part of your life?" he asked Buffy.

"Yes" came her immediate answer, "No, yes, I don't know" she changed her mind too many times before putting her face in her hands and making a frustrated sound.

"This is insane!" she exclaimed as she ran her hands over her face and back through her hair, "Six months ago I was home in my apartment with my husband and my son living an ordinary life" she shook her head, "Now, I'm here in a foreign country, with a Dad I never knew I had, pregnant by a guy I've met a total of two times, and... and I have no idea how to deal" she sighed, tears of frustration, and anger, and desperation coming to her eyes.

"Don't upset yourself, my dear" Giles urged her, as he reached out a hand to her arm, "For my part, I'm terribly sorry for any upset or confusion I have caused" he apologised.

"It's not you" Buffy assured him, managing a half smile as she put her hand over his, "I love that I found you, and everything you've done for me and for Michael, I can't even tell you what it means to me"

"It's what any father would've done" he said modestly, but Buffy disagreed.

"Not my father" she told him, "Well, y'know, Hank. Not all guys would've done what you have, taken us in like this, accepted us"

"I've missed so much, Buffy" Giles sighed, "You grew up without me, and dear Joyce passed away never truly knowing how much I loved her. The very least I can do is be here for you now, help in anyway I can, and you know I'm getting just as much out of it as you" he smiled, "I have a beautiful daughter and a wonderful grandson who I fully intend to spoil as much as I am able" he told her solemnly, making Buffy smile wider.

"I'm so sorry you didn't get a chance to be my Dad before" she said sadly, "I think you'd have been great when I was growing up"

"Perhaps" Giles agreed modestly, "but the more important question now I suppose would be what kind of father might Spike make?" he reminded her.

"How can I possibly know that?" Buffy laughed humourlessly, "The first time we met we barely had a conversation and today... I didn't know where to start I was so shocked to see him" she said as she picked up her cocoa from the table once again and ran her finger round the top of the mug.

"How do you tell a guy you hardly even know, that you want him to come play Daddy cos you're having his baby?" she asked Giles, wishing it were just that simple.

"If I could wave a magic wand, and solve all your problems, Buffy" he told her, "You know that is exactly what I would do, but as it is..."

"You can't" she interrupted with a sad smile, "and I know that, obviously. This isn't a fairytale and I'm not a princess. Spike is not Prince Charming, and there is no fairy godmother or whatever to make this all better"

"That is all true" Giles agreed, "but Buffy, things could all turn out well, we must look on the bright-side, things could be much worse"

"Worse things happen at sea" she smiled, "that's what Mom used to say"

"A very good reason to never buy a boat I'm sure" Giles said with a wry smile as he sipped his cocoa, glad to see Buffy laugh silently at his mini-joke.

"I think I need to go to bed" she said a moment later, taking her cocoa with her as she got to her feet, "Maybe sleep will help me figure out where I go from here" she said with more confidence than she really felt about her little plan.

"Sweet dreams, my dear" her father said as she left the room and headed to her bedroom.

Buffy passed by Michael's room and stopped by the door to look in on him. Her son slept peacefully, no doubt dreaming of pirate adventures or slaying dragons, or any number of other childhood fantasies that boys of six and seven years old were prone to have. It was all so innocent back then, at that tender age. Boys wanted to be heroes, and knights, and kings, little girls wanted to be princesses and angels. All you wanted as you grew up was to be happy, to be your parents maybe in their good moments. For all her dreams, Buffy had never once considered her life might turn out as it had.

She sighed as she silently closed the door of Michael's bedroom and walked along the hall to her own. She finished up her cocoa, changed into her nightwear and got into bed, mind still whirring with a million thoughts she doubted she'd ever be able to deal with.

Buffy didn't think she'd ever get to sleep with so much going on inside her head, but at length she managed to close her eyes and drift away, the last thought she had being; 'I wonder what Spike is thinking about tonight?'

* * *

'Somebody please, kill me now' Spike thought as he stared into his drink and listened to the girl next to him prattle on about something mind-numbingly boring, about some mates of hers whom he didn't know nor ever cared to. He'd only got talking to the silly bint because from the back and in the bad lighting of the pub she'd looked vaguely like Buffy Summers. As he reached her side he knew he was wrong, but it was too late, she'd spotted him and decided she wanted a chat and a drink.

Having nothing else to do, Spike took a seat and bought Harmony a cocktail. Her yammering about visiting the country from America made his mind wander far away from her words to his own trip away, and the beautiful blonde he had met in Sunnydale, California. Now she was here, living somewhere within a few miles radius of the college he guessed though he had no idea where. Buffy Summers, her name was as beautiful as she was, he decided as he downed another drink, hoping to make himself numb to Harmony's chatter. He was just too nice to tell a lady to shut her gob, not that she seemed to be much of a lady, if her skimpy outfit and the amount she was drinking was anything to go by.

When time was called and everyone was asked to leave the pub so it could close, Spike and Harmony got off their bar stools at the same time, her falling a little drunkenly into his arms.

"Well, Spikey" she giggled, "What do you wanna do now?" she asked him.

"Don't know about you, pet" he sighed as he hauled her up so she was standing straight, "but I just fancy going home to my bed"

"That sounds like fun" Harmony smiled drunkenly as she leaned in very close to him, "Wanna take me with you?" she whispered, her face close to his. Far from being attracted to her, Spike turned his head away to escape the strong smell of all the alcohol she'd consumed.

"Sorry, luv" he shook his head as he sat her back down on her stool and called one of the bar staff over, "Could someone call her a cab?" he asked, tilting his head towards the dizzy blonde. The barmaid said she would and Spike turned to Harmony.

"Look, pet" he sighed, "'S not that you're not a lovely girl, and I'm very flattered and all that but... well, thanks, but no thanks, okay?" he told her before turning to walk away. Harmony barely heard him as she concentrated solely on sitting upright on the stool and not falling off.

When Spike got outside the fresh air hit him like a smack in the face, but not as much as reality had done already. A girl in there, blonde and American and a little drunk, had just offered him a night of fun, something he'd turned down without a thought. She wasn't like Buffy, at least she had some class, hadn't just thrown herself drunkenly into his arms, giggling like a mad thing. She was better, different, more than just a one night stand, he'd known that even then. When he'd woken up in the morning and found the other side of the bed empty he'd hated to think he'd never see her again. It wasn't as if she was the first women he'd slept with or anything, he'd had his share of women but nobody had made him feel quite like Buffy had. Of course he'd told himself it was just the thrill of it all, her being some kind of holiday fling or whatever, but it wasn't as simple as that.

Now here she was, back in his life, her kiss exciting him as much now as it had before. Spike wanted her, wanted to be with her again, wanted to get to know her, find out if what was between them was something real, because it certainly felt like it could be. He sighed as he walked towards home, lighting a cigarette on the way and blowing out smoke into the night. Tomorrow he was going to find Buffy Summers, no matter what it took. At the very least he had to know how and why she was suddenly here, and if he ever stood a chance of calling her his own.

_To Be Continued...  
_


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N : The popularity of this fic kinda stuns me, but I'm so glad you all seem to love it so much. Now for some more Buffy and Spike interaction...  
**_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 10

Spike sighed in defeat as a tenth door was shut in his face and the list in his hand told him there were no more people by the name of Summers living in the area. Seemed none of them had heard of a young woman by the name of Buffy, and none were related to anybody American that they were aware of. Kicking a can across the street, Spike pulled a packet of fags and a lighter from his inside pocket. He cursed as he tried to light the cigarette he'd just put in his mouth but everytime he tried the breeze blew the flame out.

"Bloody hell" he said angrily as he gave up and threw the cigarette to the ground, "Today is not my soddin' day" he complained as he strode off down the street, black leather duster swooshing out behind him. He looked fairly intimidating to most people but one little boy who spotted the man in the coat was fascinated by him, thinking he looked like some kind of superhero with a flowing cape and cool hair.

"Mommy?" the little boy whined as he pulled on the bottom of her long skirt, "Mommy, look!" he urged her but she was too busy paying the cab driver to pay proper attention right now.

"Just a minute, sweetie" she told him as she fought with her purse and all the bags she was already carrying despite the fact she was only half done shopping. She didn't notice her son start to wander off down the street and worse she wasn't watching as he came to the edge of the busy street. He looked down the road a few feet where the cool super-hero guy was walking and decided he wanted to get closer, maybe say hi and ask if he had any cool super powers to go with his outfit. Mommy said not to talk to strangers but this was different. She was just a few yards away and this man was like Superman or something so he wouldn't hurt him.

With a grin on his face the little boy headed towards the man, crossing the road without looking at all. As the cab pulled away from in front of her, Buffy looked around and realised her son had gone. Then she saw him.

"Michael!" she screamed as she realised he was in the middle of oncoming traffic, though her warning only served to make him stop walking right as a lorry came at him, "Nooo!" Buffy yelled, her bags falling from her hands and everything from tin cans to oranges rolling down the street discarded as she pelted down the road, still there was no way to make it to her son in time. Thankfully Spike had spotted the child too and dived into the road, pulling Michael back just a split second before the lorry passed by, horn blaring as the driver cursed and gave an unpleasant hand signal to the idiots in the road.

"That was cool" Michael grinned as he clambered off Spike who barely believed what he was hearing. He sat on the edge of the pavement, breathing heavily from the shock and adrenaline and staring at the little boy who looked thrilled by the experience of almost dying!

"I knew you were a superhero" he gushed just as Buffy found her way across the street and scooped the child into her arms.

"Oh God, my baby" she cried as she held him tight, "Michael, sweetie, what were you doing! You don't ever run away for me like that! Oh darling, are you hurt?" she checked, alternating between mixed panic and worry about her boy's welfare, and anger at his stupidity.

"I'm okay" Michael told his frantic mother as she checked him over for injuries, "He saved me, the super-hero" he grinned as he pointed over her shoulder. Buffy couldn't believe it when she turned around and her eyes landed on Spike.

"You" she breathed, still holding onto Michael tightly, "Spike?"

"Buffy?" he echoed back, feeling similarly breathless both from the incident and now seeing the very woman he'd been searching for, standing right in front of him, holding a child that was... calling her Mommy?

"You're... He's yours?" Spike said confusedly, glancing between Michael and Buffy as he pulled himself to his feet.

"He's mine" she agreed, feeling sick for a hundred different reasons right now, "Are you okay?" she checked, the memory of what he'd just done seemingly coming to the surface in her mind once again.

"Yeah" he nodded, "Er, nothing a needle and a thread won't fix" he shrugged, noting the rip he'd made in his jeans when he'd landed.

"Mommy, do you know the superhero?" Michael asked her excitedly.

Spike finally tore his eyes from Buffy's long enough to glance at the boy and answer the question on the blondes behalf.

"'M not a superhero, mate" he told the boy, "Just a... well, I know your Mum a little bit"

"Oh" Michael was a little disappointed that this guy wasn't the big hero type he thought he was, just another friend of Mommy.

"Maybe not a superhero" Buffy agreed, "But a hero anyway. Spike, you saved my son's life" she told him, putting a hand to his arm, "How can I ever thank you for that?"

"You already have" Spike smiled, "Seein' you again's the best prize I could've won... not that I saved your boy for that, obviously" he back-pedalled, "Didn't even know he was yours, how could I?"

It was at this point that the small crowd of people around them seemed to come into focus, all checking Michael was okay, and praising Spike for his act of apparent heroism. After a few minutes, everyone had satisfied their concern and/or curiosity over the incident and had gone back to their lives, leaving Buffy and Spike, and little Michael still standing there.

"I should really take Michael to the hospital, get him checked over" his mother told the bleached blond, "I know he looks fine but... I should go" she said, quickly turning on her heel.

"Buffy" Spike called as he ran after her, grabbing her arm and making her turn back, "Please, luv" he begged her, "My car's just round the corner, let me give you a lift"

After a moment she sighed.

"Okay, yes, thank you" she conceded, holding tight to Michael's hand as they followed Spike to where his car waited. Buffy was a little surprised to find he drove a 1958 Dodge DeSoto Fireflite, a car she could only identify since Angel had wanted one when he was a teen, that or a 1967 Plymouth Belvedere GTX Convertible. It was funny the little things that stuck in your head like that, Buffy thought as she helped Michael get strapped into the back of the car and then got in beside him. Thinking about Angel's old love for cars just reminded her that when she finally had the now inevitable 'big talk' with Spike she would have to tell him not only about Michael, but also about her husband back in LA, not to mention the baby she carried inside her right now that was half his own.

"So, little fella, you got a name?" Spike asked Michael as he glanced at him in the rear view mirror. The boy glanced at Buffy for confirmation that it was okay to tell before answering.

"Michael James O'Reilly" he announced, "What's yours?"

It took a few moments for Spike to recover enough to answer the kid's question. He had expected Summers to be the boy's last name and if it wasn't that could really only mean one thing.

"Er, William Armstrong" he said eventually, "but my mates call me Spike"

"That's cool" Michael grinned, "Why do they call you that?" he asked a moment later and Buffy told him to hush and not ask so many questions that weren't his business. Still, she couldn't help but think maybe if she'd been as quizzical as her child she might not be in a situation where she was falling for a complete stranger.

"Not really a story I can tell you, mate" Spike smirked, "'S one for when you're older I reckon" he said swiftly changing the subject, "Do we need to call anyone, about the accident?" he asked Buffy, "I mean, Michael's father or anything?" he checked, really just digging for information, like if his suspicions were true and Buffy really was a married woman. Now that he thought about it, she never had actually agreed with him when he said they hadn't cheated on anyone that night in the Sunnydale hotel.

"No" Buffy answered fast, "but I should probably let Giles know we'll be late home" she realised, as she rifled through her purse for her cellphone. It was the only bag she hadn't dropped as she'd run to Michael's aid, and then only because she had the strap crossed over her body.

Spike listened intently as Buffy dialled the number and talked to this Giles person. He knew how wrong it was to eavesdrop on another persons phone conversion, but he had to know what was going on and the blonde seemed less than forthcoming with the info, something he understood more now he knew she had a child.

"He's fine, at least he seems fine" Buffy said in the back, as she held the cell phone to her ear.

"I'm okay, honest" Michael called in her other ear, "Mommy, tell Grandpa Giles I'm okay!"

"I guess you heard that" Buffy smiled as she talked a little longer and Spike also smiled to himself when he realised that Giles was clearly not a boyfriend or similar to Buffy but more likely her Dad or at least a father figure of some kind if Michael was calling him Grandpa.

The trip to the hospital continued in silence, once the phone call had ended. Spike went in with the mother and son, even when Buffy told him it was unnecessary. He was so determined to get some answers from her, even if this was a bad time. He was so afraid of letting her walk out on him again and not being able to find her a fourth time. The first three chance meetings were miracles all by themselves, but clearly fate intended something more to happen between them.

Spike winced a little when Buffy gave her name to the nurse at the desk as Buffy O'Reilly. Before she'd apparently been Summers, which seemed now to be a lie. Spike was seriously beginning to wonder if she'd been trying to tell him to get lost by giving him a fake person to search for and yet when they'd kissed in his classroom, no-one could fake the way she reacted, the look in her eyes. She felt things for him, the same things he felt for her, he was almost certain. He just wished he could get a chance to ask her what the hell was going on before he went crazy!

"Are you okay?" a kindly looking nurse asked him as he sat in the waiting area with his head in his hands.

"Oh, yeah" he nodded, as he looked up, "I'm just waiting for my... friend, and her son" he explained.

"The blonde with the seven year old boy, seeing Dr Pryce?" the nurse checked, "He's fine, they're just on their way back to you" she smiled, glad to see the man do the same.

"Thanks for that" Spike was saying just as he spotted Buffy coming through the double doors towards him. He quickly got to his feet.

"Hey" Buffy greeted him before looking down at her son, "Sweetie, don't you have something to say to Sp.. Mr Armstrong" she corrected herself.

"Thank you for saving me" Michael said dutifully, looking up at Spike who crouched down to his level to save the kid breaking his neck.

'S alright, mate" he told the boy, ruffling his hair, "Glad to be of service, but here's a tip, don't go walking out in the middle of anymore roads any time soon, eh? Reckon you scared poor Mum here half to death"

"Sorry, Mommy" Michael said, shifting his gaze up to Buffy who smiled at him.

"It's okay, baby" she assured him, "but like Mr Armstrong said, no more running in the road like that, it's not safe, you know that"

"Can I go to the bathroom now?" the little boy asked, looking a little ashamed of himself and the same nurse from before pointed out that the bathroom was just a few feet down the hall. Michael went off by himself and Spike got back to his feet facing Buffy who really had nowhere to run now.

_To Be Continued..._


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N : This fic is so popular, I'm astounded, but I'm also really happy about it, obviously! So, it's time for Buffy to face up to reality and tell Spike about her life... or is it?  
**_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 11

"I guess before we say anything else, I should start with thankyou" Buffy said shyly, "Spike, you saved my son's life today, there just aren't words..."

"Doesn't need to be" Spike shook his head, "'M not standing here waiting for your gratitude Buffy" he explained, "More interested in knowing why you lied to me"

She looked a little affronted, despite the fact what he said was true. She'd lied about her name, and concealed the truth about pretty much everything else. Still, what gave him the right to feel so bad about it? They were almost perfect strangers, not counting their one night of sexual bliss together and some heated kissing more recently. She knew nothing of value about him or his life, why should he know about hers?

"I tried to explain this to you before" she sighed, "We both have lives, Spike, completely seperate worlds. I don't belong in yours and you don't belong in mine" she said almost sadly, wishing it were simpler and that their lives could be intertwined. She was carrying his child after all, but that little announcement would have to wait a while at least, there was so much else to be discussed first.

"I thought the idea was for us to find out if our lives were compatible, if we were" he frowned, "Buffy you said yourself there's something between us, I know you feel it the same as I do" he said, eyes boring into her own almost hypnotising her as he stepped in closer.

"I do feel it" she breathed unevenly, "You know I do, and if things were different I..." she stopped and started again, "Spike, things are complicated, much more complicated than you think"

"Then explain it to me" he begged her, "Explain it all to me, tell me about yourself and your life and let me do the same" he said, almost desperately, "Fates keep throwing us together, luv, the least we can do is find out why"

Buffy tried to take a deep breath but found even that was an issue when Spike was so close to her, the look in his eyes so intense, and the desperation in his voice so obvious. He really wanted to now her, wanted to see if they could make a life together. It was crazy, she knew it was, but their first meeting hadn't exactly been the most sane experience of her life, definitely the most beautiful one though. Problem was, if she did do this, tell Spike the whole truth about her life, would he still want her then? When he knew she had a drunken husband back home, when he realised she was carrying his own child?

"Spike" she whispered, his lips just a fraction of an inch away from hers right now. So afraid of wasting a moment of time she might have with this man, she closed the gap and kissed him. The magic didn't last for long.

"Mommy?" her son called from the door of the bathroom door down the hall and in seconds Buffy was across the corridor with a good eight feet between her and Michael's saviour.

"Hey, sweetie" the blonde smiled, straightening her hair out where Spike's hand had wandered briefly, "Let's get you home now. Grandpa Giles will be worrying" she said as she took hold of his hand and headed for the doors.

"Are you taking us home, Spike?" Michael asked as they paused by the bleached blond.

"Er, if your Mum says so then, yeah, sure thing, mate" Spike half smiled as he glanced between the child and Buffy.

"Thanks" she nodded as the three walked out to the car.

Buffy felt physically nauseous though she covered it well as she made sure Michael was properly strapped into the car and listened all the way home as he yammered on about the excitement of the day and how sorry he was for scaring his Mommy. Spike stole glances at them in his rear view mirror, hating that he still hadn't gotten a proper conversation with Buffy yet, but liking the fact that at least she was feeling for him some of what he was feeling for her, the kiss she initiated in the hospital had proven that.

"Left here and then straight on" she said, giving further directions towards her home. Spike was quite surprised when she said to head through the gates after taking the next right turn. The house was bloody huge compared to anywhere he'd ever lived, and soddin' enormous when looked at against his current apartment. Seemed Michael's Grandpa Giles wasn't short of a bob or two.

As he pulled up on the drive, Buffy got Michael out of the car and the three of them stood awkwardly on the gravel by the front door of the house.

"What do you say to Spike, honey?" Buffy said to her son who looked up at the bleached blond.

"Thank you for saving me from the truck" he told him, "and for driving me and Mommy around" he continued, "Oh, and I think your coat is really cool, like a superheros cape" he grinned.

Spike crouched down to the kid's level, smirking at his words.

"You wanna thank me, mate, you just never scare your Mum like that again, right?" he told him, trying to look serious, "and as for the coat, well, s'pose it is sort of like a superhero costume, certainly worked today, didn't it?" he smirked once again and Michael nodded frantically.

"Totally!" he gushed as Giles appeared by the front door.

"I thought I heard voices" he said as Michael slipped his mother's hand and ran to his Grandpa, telling him he should come meet Spike because he's a superhero.

"Buffy, my dear" her father smiled as he came over, "Is this a friend of yours?" he asked, wondering where she might have found such a person and why on earth she would have brought him home. He hardly looked like the sort of young man she should associate with.

"Giles, this is William Armstrong, or Spike" she said wishing the ground would open up and swallow her immediately, "Spike, this is my father, Rupert Giles"

The two men shook hands, eyeing each other a little warily. Giles could hardly believe this was the man Buffy had betrayed her husband for, who's child she was carrying, and was somehow an educator in the field of English! On Spike's part he was wondering how much more complicated this whole thing with Buffy was likely to get. Her father it seemed was as English as he himself was, whilst Buffy and her son were Yanks. Then there was the fact that dear old Dad was called Giles, whilst she and Michael were O'Reilly, and in the first place she'd given her name to him as Summers.

"Buffy has mentioned you" Giles nodded as he retracted his hand from Spike's own, "On more than one occasion actually"

"Yeah, you've come up in conversation too" the bleached blond nodded as Buffy continued to stare at the gravel drive, still wishing it would do the whole open/swallow thing as soon as possible. Of course it didn't bother, just stayed all flat and solid and ordinary - stupid ground!

"Mommy!" Michael whined catching her attention, "We missed our ice-cream!" he realised, yelling over dramatically about it, "It's Saturday, we always have ice-cream on Saturday and we forgot!" he said urgently pulling at her sleeve.

Buffy looked down at him and then up and between her Dad and Spike, feeling so confused and overwhelmed by both this moment and all those that had come before it today.

"Sweetie, I don't know if..." she began, only to have Giles interrupt her.

"Well, now, Michael" he said to the boy, "How would it be if I took you to get some ice-cream, so that your mother and, er, Mr Armstrong might have a talk by themselves"

"Can't they come with us?" the little boy frowned, "What do you need to talk to Spike about, Mommy?" he asked, not loving the fact that he wouldn't be joining them at the ice-cream parlour.

"Just a few things, honey" she explained with a forced smile, "Grown up things, that you really don't need to worry about" she promised him, leaning down and kissing his forehead, "Now you go with Grandpa Giles and enjoy your ice-cream and I'll see you in a couple of hours when you get back, okay?" she said, shooting her father a grateful look.

All three adults were quite relieved when Michael agreed to the suggestion and went with Giles to get into the car to leave. Buffy sighed deeply and ran her hands over her face and back through her hair. She felt emotionally exhausted already and yet so much was still to come.

"I guess you should come inside" she said, leading the way to the front door and Spike followed. They hung their coats in the hall and went through to the main living room where Buffy took one end of the couch and Spike the other, both not really knowing where they were supposed to begin with all this.

"'S a nice place you got here" he said after a while, "Very... big" he settled on eventually, unable to think of a more fitting adjective. The style was hardly to his taste, bit too posh.

"It's all Giles' really" Buffy shrugged, "It's taking a while for it to feel like home"

Spike frowned a little as he looked at her.

"You call your father Giles?" he checked, head tilting to one side as he stared and waited for answer.

Buffy sighed, shifting in her seat so she was sideways on the couch and facing the man she was speaking to.

"Guess this is as good a place as any to start" she decided, as she began her narrative, "I was brought up in Sunnydale, California, by Joyce and Hank Summers" she said, noticing a little flash of realisation in his eyes as he realised that was why she'd given her name the way she had before, and why no-one around here knew her by it, "Joyce was my Mom but Hank wasn't really my Dad, Giles was. Thing was, Mom's parents weren't great fans of Giles and when he had to leave the country and they realised Mom was pregnant they convinced her she should marry Hank instead and hid all the letters Giles tries to send"

"Wow" was all Spike could find to say, "So, how come you're here now with Giles playin' Daddy dearest?" he asked, "I mean, he didn't know you existed and I'm guessing your parents weren't forthcoming with the info that your Mum got with child out of wedlock and all that rot?"

"Giles came to Sunnydale looking for my Mom" Buffy continued to explain, "It was three weeks after I met you, he came and asked me if I knew where he could find Joyce Potter... and I had to tell him she was dead" she said sadly, looking down at her hands where they fidgeted in her lap.

"I'm sorry, luv" Spike said sympathetically, "Lost my own Mum a few years back, I know how hard that is" he said as his hand landed on hers, squeezing her fingers gently.

They shared a slight smile before she continued, glad that his hand never left hers.

"We got talking about things, my age came up and a little calculating later Giles realised he could be my father" she explained, "Quick call to my Dad, well, Hank, and he told me it was true. I wasn't Buffy Summers after all, at least not biologically, I was Giles' daughter"

Spike looked at her for a long moment before he spoke.

"So, what?" he shook his head not understanding, "You just thought 'hey I know, I'll pack my bags and emigrate to England with a father I just met'?" he frowned not getting it at all, or where her son fitted in to all this.

"Not even close to that simple" she laughed humourlessly, pulling her hand out of his and getting to her feet.

Buffy turned her back on Spike as she stared out of the window. The puffy white clouds were increasing in number and size and turning grey in patches. She absently hoped Giles and Michael wouldn't get caught in a downpour in town.

"Have you ever been in love, Spike?" she asked suddenly, startling him a bit.

"I dunno" he told her back since she seemed to have no intention in turning around, "Thought I was once but... am I supposed to ask why you wanna know?" he checked, "Or make some sort of declaration to you maybe?" he asked, trying not to let any kind of tone slip into his voice. Love was a big word to bandying around at this point in time. Although he was almost certain that some part of the jumble of feelings he had towards Buffy was indeed love, he didn't yet understand how or why he was feeling it, so he didn't fancy shooting off at the mouth about it right this second.

Buffy's pained laughter dragged him from his thoughts and he hated to see tear tracks on her cheeks when she finally turned around.

"I thought I was in love once" she told him, replaying too many painful memories in her mind, "I was fifteen and he meant everything to me" she laughed at herself or how stupid she'd been, "By the time we left High School, I already knew I was pregnant and I didn't mind at all when his parents and my Mom expected us to get married right away... it was all I'd wanted for so long but, but I guess it wasn't what Angel wanted" she cried openly and Spike couldn't bear to see it. He was up from the couch in seconds and pulling the sobbing woman into his arms. Buffy clung to him, letting years of pain spill out of her as he held her, making soothing sounds and rubbing her back.

When it seemed it was going to take a while for her to calm down, Spike manoeuvred them both back to the couch and sat down with her very close to him. She refused to let go and continued to cry into his chest as he assured her it was all okay now and rocked her gently like a child.

It was a good half hour before she was calm and he dared to really speak to her.

"Buffy, pet" he said gently, hand still rubbing her back soothingly, "I'm so sorry if I upset you, made you think about things you'd rather not"

"It's not your fault" she said, her voice rough from crying and her words muffled since she still refused to bring her head out from under his chin, "Angel just didn't love me enough" she sniffed, "He was insanely jealous of our son, and the more jealous he got the more he drank. The more he drank the more I hated him and spent time with Michael away from him. It was a vicious circle, and I just couldn't take it anymore" she fought hard not to cry anymore as she finally showed her face, cheeks red and blotchy and smeared with mascara from her eyes.

"That was why you slept with me" Spike guessed, looking away from her as pain ripped through him somehow in the region of his heart. What he'd felt for Buffy was real, but it seemed her own feelings were less so. Their night together was revenge on her husband, or sanctuary from his nasty, drunken ways, nothing more, "You used me" Spike said sadly as he forced himself to look at her once again.

"No" came Buffy's firm answer, "No, it wasn't like that" she assured him.

"Then what was it like, luv?" he asked her, wishing she'd explain since she seemed to understand that which alluded him, "I'm really not keeping up with this rollercoaster too well" he admitted.

"I'm not denying what we did was an escape from my life with Angel" she said, looking down at her lap and then back up at Spike, "but I didn't set out to cheat on him, or to use anybody" she swore, "You just... Something happened when you kissed me, and when we..." she tried to explain, but found it almost impossible to put all that she felt into real words, "It was like every romance novel I ever read, every fantasy I ever had, and something else entirely that I can't even begin to tell you" she admitted, blushing deeply when she realised exactly what she'd said. The fact that Spike's bright blue eyes were boring into her wasn't helping either.

"Please stop doing that" she begged him, trying to look away but finding herself contsantly drawn back to his eyes.

"I'm not doing anything" Spike denied, genuinely meaning it. He was too busy trying to take in all that she was telling him, as well as all that she'd previously said, to be doing anything else!

"You are so doing something!" Buffy yelled as she got to her feet and paced the room, "You're doing whatever you were doing in that Club two months ago!" she continued to shout, "You're looking at me, and, and you're being majorly attractive and making me think all... non-straight!" she yelled frustratedly as she went up and down the room twice more, wiping her face clean of tears and make-up as she went.

On her final length of the room she was a little startled to find Spike had risen from the couch and was standing right where she planned on walking. Her body was pressed against his before she'd even realised what had happened and his intense gaze rooted her to the spot.

"How am I supposed to explain anything to you" Buffy said breathlessly, "if you're going to keep making me want you so much?" she asked, her words the final encouragement Spike needed to claim her lips with his own. One strong arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her body flush to his as his other hand went into her hair. God he wanted her, needed to be with her this way again, and she didn't seem to be protesting at all so far.

It was insane, they both knew it, as they moved to the couch and he gently eased her down onto the cushions. It wouldn't be the first time their passion had over taken their good sense, but they had no alcohol to blame this time. This was fuelled by their pure want for each other alone, despite the fact they both knew this was not the most sensible thing to be doing right now. Such ideas did not last long as all rational thought left their minds and they travelled to heaven and back together once again.

_To Be Continued..._


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N : This is the kind of chapter I like to write most of all, a least the first part is - Spike and Buffy and the love :-)  
**_**(For disclaimer, etc - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 12

The complete absence of thought that comes with the pleasure of making love as she and Spike had just done, did not last long enough for Buffy. As they lay naked together on the couch, covered modestly by the throw, his arms holding her back to his chest so she didn't slip away, a million thoughts went rushing through Buffy's head. The speed with which they travelled made her feel quite sick. She had no idea what the hell she'd been thinking when she'd let this happen again. She and William Armstrong had now made love twice and still she really knew nothing concrete about him, barring his full name, job title, and how he lost his last girlfriend to another woman! Still, what they'd just done was indescribably perfect to Buffy and she really didn't regret a second of it.

"What're you thinkin' pet?" Spike asked her as he softly kissed her neck and breathed in the scent of her hair.

"That was... beautiful" she admitted, glad she had her back to him really since she was fairly certain she blushed.

"Not gonna argue with that, luv" she was glad to hear her lover reply, "God, Buffy, I can't find words to tell you what you do to me" Spike said as he continued to kiss her neck and shoulder, his hands running over her skin and making her shudder involuntarily. She turned in his arms and their lips met once again, re-igniting their passion. As wonderful as it felt, Buffy pulled away.

"Don't, Spike" she said sadly, "Were supposed to be talking"

"I know" he sighed, making himself be still and finding it almost impossible, "'S not my fault you're so damn sexy" he pointed out, "Or that you seem to find me equally as bloody irrisistable"

"I didn't say it was anyone's fault" Buffy shook her head as she got up from the couch, keeping the throw wrapped around her. Of course it hadn't occurred to her she'd left Spike lying naked on the couch and apparently he didn't care at all.

"Are you going to get dressed?" Buffy asked as she glanced awkwardly at him and set about picking up her own clothes from the floor, never letting go of the throw that covered her body.

"S'pose so" Spike conceded, though he was frowning as he shifted to a sitting position on the couch and reached across for his jeans. Buffy had her back to him as she finally let go of the throw and pulled on her underwear and then the rest of her clothes. From across the room he could see she was shaking, in fact he was fairly certain she was crying.

"Er, pet?" he said as he moved towards her and realised he'd been right and she was sobbing her heart out, "Buffy, I'm sorry" he said gently as he put a hand on her shoulder and turned her around, "If I hurt you or..."

"You didn't" she sniffed as she looked at him, "I just... I don't know where to start" she admitted, "I can't make sense of any of this, I mean, I don't even know you, not really, but..."

"But I make you feel things" Spike finished for her, "Things you can't explain? I know it's true, Buffy, you do the same to me" he told her, hands running up and down her arms and they stood looking at each other. Whilst she was fully clothed again now he'd only got as far as his jeans and was bare-chested before her.

"Spike" she sighed, looking away, "I have things I have to say to you" she told him, "One thing in particular, and it scares the hell out of me"

"Why?" he wanted to know, his hand gong to her face and urging her to look at him again, "Why should you be afraid to tell me anything, luv?"

"Because I never felt like this about anyone before" she told him solemnly, "Not even the man I married, and it scares me that I'm going to lose you from my life so soon after I just found you" she said shakily as she clung to him.

"Buffy" he sighed, "Sweetheart, I'm tryin' to make it clear to you, that I don't want to go anywhere, that I have feelings for you that I can't explain but that I definitely want to understand" he smiled, "I'm drowning in you, Summers, I'm drowning and I don't want to be saved. Scares me a bit too, if I'm honest" he told her, "but isn't that all part of it?"

"Maybe" Buffy admitted, "but this needs to be more than just thrill-seekage" she told him firmly, as she took a deep breath, "Spike, I..." she was seconds away from confessing the news of her pregnancy when a car pulled onto the gravel drive and made her jump. It had to be Giles, she was certain, especially when she heard her son's voice singing a TV commercial jingle way too loudly as he was prone to do.

"Damn" Buffy cursed as she pulled away from Spike and grabbed his T-shirt throwing it at him, "Please, get dressed" she urged him, "Michael cannot know what we did"

Spike nodded as he pulled his top over his head and forced is feet into his boots at the same time. By the time Giles and Michael came into the room, Spike was sitting casually on the couch and Buffy was in the chair to one side. They might've been doing nothing less innocent than talking the whole time.

"Mommy!" the little boy yelled delightedly as he ran at her for a hug.

"Hey sweetie" Buffy smiled as she put her arms around her son and held him tight, "You enjoy your ice-cream?"

"Uh-huh" Michael nodded excitedly as he pulled away and looked at her then Spike, "I had my favourite, double chocolate fudge brownie"

"That's nice" Buffy smiled, "And what did Grandpa Giles have?" she asked her father, almost acting as if Spike wasn't present in the room at all.

"Er, just vanilla" Giles smiled wryly, "I'm really not a fan of all these flavours and bits and pieces in my dessert. It seems so very... well, if you'll pardon me Buffy, it does seem very American to me"

Buffy smiled at that.

"It's not like I'm gonna be offended, Giles" she told him, not noticing that Michael was now standing a foot away from Spike and looking at him strangely.

"What's up, mate?" the bleached blond asked after a moment and the little boy frowned.

"How come your tag is on the outside and at the front?" he asked, gesturing towards the top of Spike's T-shirt where the little sewn in label was visible, since he'd apparently put that particular piece of clothing on both backwards and inside out in his hurry.

Buffy closed her eyes and expelled a breath, her hands going up to cover her face momentarily. Giles glanced between his daughter and her new friend, guessing what had happened between them, indeed now that he looked at her he could see that Buffy was somewhat dishevelled.

"Really Michael, I'm sure that's none of our business" Giles said quickly, "Er, why don't you run upstairs and pick out a board game you might like to play whilst your mother and I see Mr Armstrong out"

"Yay! A game!" Michael grinned before galloping off to his room and Spike turned to Giles.

"Thanks for that" he said, immediately pulling his top off and fixing it so he was wearing it the right way a moment later.

"I confess I did nothing to deliberately help _you_" the older man snapped, getting to his feet, grabbing up Spike's coat and holding it out to him, "I do not wish my grandson or my daughter to be in any sort of distress" he said sternly, "Which is why I must ask you to leave"

"Buffy?" Spike frowned as he got to his feet and took his leather coat from Giles, "For God sake, luv, why are you lettin' him think I'm the bad guy here? I did nothing to upset them, mate" he said as he turned from her to her father, "I care about Buffy, a lot"

"Yes, yes, I dare say you do" Giles said, waving the other man's words away with his hand, "At this point in time I have no use for your explanations or your declarations, I wish you simply to leave my home"

"I'll go if it's what Buffy wants" Spike said, eyes hardening as he looked over at Giles. He'd done nothing wrong, not taken advantage or anything, after all Buffy had initiated what they'd done today, and hadn't he saved little Michael's life just a few hours ago? Not that he was looking for a reward or whatever for such an act but he was not going to be treated like some sort of nasty soddin' git when he'd done nothing wrong.

"I need you to go now" Buffy said quietly as she glanced up at him, "I'm sorry, but I just do"

As much as it pained Spike he would do as she asked. He'd pretty much do anything she ever asked of him, walk over hot coals, bungee jump without the cord, it wouldn't matter, he was falling for her so hard and fast he couldn't help himself.

"Lady wants me to go, I'll go" he said, looking first at her then at Giles.

"I'll walk you to the door" Buffy said as she got to her feet, smiling slightly at Giles before leading Spike to the front entrance, "Today didn't exactly go how I planned" she laughed nervously, hugging herself as she watched him pull his coat on.

"Me either" he agreed as he turned to look at her, "but Buffy, everything that's happened between us, I don't regret a second of it" Spike assured her, "I never expected to see you again after that night" he told her honestly as he stood closely in front of her and looked down into her eyes, "Blew me away seein' you again, and I'm not denying you bein' married and havin' a kid came as a bit of a shock but... I still want to know you, I still want to find out whatever the hell this is between us"

Buffy looked up at him with years in her eyes as she put a hand to his cheek.

"I want to find out too" she admitted, "We seriously need to talk so maybe next time we meet somewhere public?" she suggested with a smile, "Might make us concentrate on the actual talking part of a conversation y'know?"

Spike smirked at that, putting his hand on hers, turning it to his lips and kissing her palm.

"Sounds like a plan, pet" he told her, "I'm in the book, so you call me whenever you want me, right?"

"Okay" Buffy nodded, reaching up to kiss him. What should have been a simple touch of lips turned into something much deeper in seconds and Spike had to force himself to pull away before they got into something they shouldn't right now.

"I'll call you" Buffy promised as they finally parted and the bleached blond she really hardly knew left the house.

Turning to lean her back against the door, she exhaled and tried to be calm. The things Spike could do to her, it was almost scary, but thrilling at the same time. Still, it wasn't just passion, it went deeper than that somehow, despite the fact they knew so little about each other's real lives.

"Mommy!" Michael called from the living room and Buffy smiled as she pushed away from the door and yelled back that she was just coming. Real life might be complicated and how she was going to fit Spike and a new baby into it she wasn't entirely sure yet, but for now she was going to be with her father and her son, and play a game and laugh and be normal. Tonight and tomorrow the worries of the world could descend upon her again, as well as memories and dreams of Spike that would make the whole world seem a little brighter.

_To Be Continued..._


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N : I know a lot of you love this fic, but there's actually not going to be that much more of it. Maybe I could make it longer, but I have a plan that kinda wraps it up in the next few chapters. I hope you'll all like how it goes anyway...  
**_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 13

Sunday passed in a strange kind of blur for Buffy. Michael didn't seem to want to leave her side for more than a moment and she wondered if it were to do with the almost-accident from the day before scaring him, or something else. What if he'd seen more than she thought at the hospital when she and Spike had been getting close, Buffy thought, what if he'd worked out something more than talking had occurred when he and Giles had been out? Buffy mentally slapped herself for being such an idiot. Her son was smart but he was only six years old, there was no way he could possibly know what was happening between his mother and Spike, and boy was Buffy glad about that.

Giles of course was different, he was an adult and he knew the ways of the world. It didn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure out that Spike and Buffy had not been using their tongues for a conversation of the wordy kind on Saturday afternoon, and though he didn't say anything about it, Buffy knew he didn't approve.

It was late Sunday when the pressure of not talking about the situation finally got to her so much she cracked. Michael was tucked up in bed and finally asleep, leaving his mother and grandfather in the living room watching an old movie. As it ended and Giles flipped off the TV, Buffy spoke.

"I know that you know" she said, confusing her father slightly, "and I know you don't approve... about me and Spike"

"Ah" Giles nodded in understanding, "Yes, well, you are a grown woman Buffy, what you do and with whom is entirely your own, well, affair" he said, suddenly realising how accurate that particular phrase was. Though he disliked Angel intensely, in the eyes of the law Buffy was cheating on her husband, and it was not something Giles entirely condoned.

"I know it's crazy" his daughter sighed, "I know I'm probably so stupid for letting this random guy into my life, he could be anybody, Giles" she admitted, "but the fact is, he isn't. He's not just a somebody or an anybody... he's the man I love" she said quietly, realising it was the first time she'd fully admitted that, even to herself.

"Buffy, my dear" Giles shook his head as he reached to out a hand over hers, "I do understand the strong feelings you harbour for this man" he assured her, "I was young once you know, and simple physical attraction can be misinterpreted greatly over time..."

"Giles" Buffy interrupted, shaking her head, "This is not fantasy, it's not just infatuation or whatever either" she told him firmly, "I know that it's crazy, I'm not denying that, but I am in love with Spike"

Her father did not know what to say or think. She was his daughter, and though he hadn't known about her for a very long time, in the few short months he had known of her and Michael too, he'd accepted them as his family so easily and wanted nothing but to protect them and ensure they were happy. It seemed highly unlikely to him that Spike and Buffy could be in love as she seemed to think, he rather fancied she thought she loved him and that he was perhaps playing along for sexual gain. That could only ever end in tears and heartache and his girl had suffered enough already.

"Buffy, I do see why you might think that" he said, begging her to understand what he was saying to her, "but you don't know this Spike person, as you say it is rather strange to suddenly decide you're in love, especially when his feelings have yet to be discussed"

"I know" his daughter sighed, "but Giles, he doesn't have to say it, neither of us have said the words, but it's just there" she said, almost wishing she could make herself heard and fully understood, but finding it so difficult to put into words what she meant to say. It was then something occurred to her.

"Giles, how long did you know my Mom?" she asked, and he frowned slightly at the question, not really understanding where it had suddenly come from,. A quick calculation led him to his answer.

"Buffy that was entirely different" he pointed out but she shook her head.

"I didn't ask about differences" she reminded him, "I asked how long you knew her"

Giles sighed before saying what she already knew.

"In total, one month, before I was forced to return to England" he admitted, removing his glasses and polishing them vigorously, "but Buffy, I spent almost the entirety of that month in your mother's company, getting to know her, spending time just talking and..."

"And it doesn't make a difference" Buffy shook her head as she interrupted her father once again, "You know it doesn't. A person doesn't just sleep with another person after four weeks of knowing them without a reason, and you told me yourself you loved my Mom" she reminded him.

"Indeed I did" Giles smiled at the memory of dear Joyce, "From the very first moment I laid eyes on her I believe I was in love"

He started when he realised what he'd just confessed and he looked at Buffy who smiled slightly at her triumph.

"Love at first sight" she said quietly, "I'm not saying that's what it was with me and Spike, maybe, but I don't know" she shrugged, "What I do know is that I love him now, Giles. I love him, and I think he loves me"

Her father looked at her for a long moment before smiling and nodding his head.

"If that be the case, my dear" he told her, "I only hope you're right, that he does indeed love you and that he can prove he deserves you"

"What's to deserve?" Buffy choked on a laugh and a sob that came out together, "I'm so scared, Giles" she admitted, "I wanna believe he loves me but... I'm so scared that when I tell him about the baby he'll..."

"He'll run away?" Giles guessed what the rest of her sentence would've been had she been able to form the words. She nodded as he pulled her into a hug and held her a she cried. It was one thing she'd done far too much of lately in his opinion, but her hormones weren't helping and with one stressful thing after another being thrown in her path, it was a little wonder she spent much of her time in tears.

"Though I cannot guarantee Spike will respond positively to your news, my dear" he said, rubbing her back as she sobbed into his shoulder, "I do assure you that I shall keep my word. You and Michael and your new child are my family and I shall look after you all to the very best of my ability, truly I shall"

"I know" Buffy sniffed as she finally pulled away, trying to wipe the tears from her face and not shed too many more, "and I'm so grateful to you, I am... but it doesn't change how much I love Spike, and how much it'll break my heart if I lose him now"

Giles sighed, feeling wretched for his daughter who had come to mean so much to him and in such a short time. It was so very clear that Buffy's feelings for Spike ran as deep as any emotion could, but the young man in question, Giles did not know him at all and was terribly concerned that he may not feel the same.

Being a man himself he knew how easy it was for them to lead on the fairer sex, make them believe they were in love when it was really all about the physical side of things. Not that Giles himself had committed such a heinous act as to trick a woman for sex, but he knew of many who had, and there had been several occasions when he might easily have taken advantage, had he been the type to do so.

"I'm going to have to talk to him" Buffy said suddenly, blowing her nose on a tissue, "I have to do it fast too, not least because he's going to notice the situation before I tell him soon" she said, one hand going subconsciously to her stomach as she said it. She was two months pregnant now, fast approaching the point where there was no turning back even if she wanted too. If Spike walked away from her now, not wanting to be tied to her and Michael, as well as the baby, Buffy doubted she could abort her pregnancy even then. She'd survive, of course she would, with Giles' help it wouldn't be at all difficult to live comfortably as she did now. The problem would be that her heart would be broken into so many pieces, it would probably never heal again.

* * *

"Mommy!" Michael repeated loudly by Buffy's ear as he bounced on her bed.

It was Monday morning and the blonde had only managed to fall asleep about an hour ago, after so much time lying awake thinking about Spike, Michael, Angel, Giles, the baby that grew inside her, and the whole mixed up situation that she was in right now.

"Mommy! It's time to get up!" Michael told her, shaking her til she opened her eyes and groaned.

"Michael, sweetie, it's still early" she complained as she looked at him.

"Nuh-uh" he protested, shaking his head, "It's eight thirty" he told her, "Grandpa Giles was gonna take me to school but he's been talking on the phone an awful long time" he explained, though the only real part of the sentence Buffy took in was the fact it was eight thirty. She had less than a half hour to get Michael to the school that was ten minutes drive away, and she was still in her night-shirt and half asleep.

"Damn" she cursed under her breath as she leapt out of bed, immediately sitting down on the edge again as her head spun furiously. She blamed lack of sleep and getting up too fast, as well as her pregnancy for the symptoms she had as a wave of nausea hit her. She so didn't need morning sickness to kick in today.

"Michael, honey" she said turning to her son and helping him scramble down off the bed, "Go back to your room, get your bag, and put on your shoes, okay?"

"Yes, Mommy" he replied as he bolted from the room, making engine noises like a car as he zoomed away.

With a deep breath Buffy stood up again and ignored the urge to vomit as she found some clothes to wear. There was no time to shower or wash her hair right now, so she sprayed on deodorant and ran a brush through her hair as quickly as she could before pulling it up into a sloppy ponytail. It wasn't like she was going to see anyone important between here and the school, she thought, as she pulled on her sweatpants and an old T-shirt.

"Michael!" she called down the hallway and obediently the boy appeared with his shoes on and his bag in his hands, "Come on, let's go" she said, grabbing his hand and hurrying down the stairs. Giles was just coming out of the kitchen with his grandson's lunch in his hand.

"Oh Buffy, I'm so terribly sorry" he apologised, "I was quite prepared to get Michael ready for school and take him there indeed I'd written you a note and everything, but a very important contact of mine called and I couldn't just..."

"It's okay, Giles, really" Buffy forced a smile, just wanting to get Michael to school and herself home again before she was spectacularly ill, "I've got it covered, thanks for dealing with everything else" she called as she grabbed her jacket, got Michael into his and disappeared out of the door.

"Are you okay, Mommy?" Michael asked as she drove him to school, her hand shaking slightly and her face pale.

"Sure I am" she forced a smile, glancing at him before concentrating on the road ahead once again.

Moments later Buffy parked the car in the school parking lot and Michael unclipped his seat belt. She leant across to kiss his forehead and say goodbye before the little boy scrambled from the car and ran to join his friends. Buffy smiled as she watched them head into the building, and even more so when her baby turned and waved to her one more time.

Her baby. The words stuck in her head and she glanced down at the almost non-existent bump at her stomach. Though it was doubtful anyone else would notice the tiny difference in the shape of her body, Buffy knew he or she was there, if nothing else the nausea kept on reminding her about it.

The overly warm air in the car wasn't helping and the drive home didn't exactly sound appealing at this precise moment, so Buffy decided to get out of the car and get a breath of fresh air. There was a park just across the road from the school where she could sit for a little while before she headed home.

It was strangely mild for a September day in England, especially since it was so early in the day, but Buffy was glad of the light breeze that blew the loose strands of hair out of her face where she hadn't quite got all of her locks tied back. Her eyes shut of their own accord as Buffy leaned back on the bench, enjoying the fact that if she took deep breaths and concentrated she could push away all the ill feelings she was getting today.

"Bloody hell" she heard a familiar voice say, "Not exactly how I planned on seeing you again pet, but I'm not about to complain"

Buffy opened her eyes and quickly turned her head to see Spike standing not three feet away, staring at her and grinning like an idiot. So many thoughts and feelings ran through her; the fact he was looking particularly gorgeous for this time of the morning did not escape her notice, and the thought of how terrible she must look made her feel awful, but the main feeling that overrode all others was how terribly sick she was feeling again all of a sudden.

"Spike..." was all she managed to say before her body convulsed and she threw up spectacularly at his feet.

_To Be Continued..._


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N : Yeah, so everybody found the vomiting amusing, huh? Well, that wasn't quite the reaction I was expecting but it's all good. More Spuffy in this chapter, but the end of this story is nigh!  
**_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 14

Buffy couldn't remember ever feeling this terrible. Not only had she just spent the last five minutes puking her guts up, but she knew she must look absolutely awful and the man she loved was standing right there staring at her. Least he had been til a second ago, now he was sitting beside her, one hand rubbing her back and telling her it was okay, she'd be fine in a minute.

"I'm sorry" she said at last, unable to look at him and obviously not wanting to look down at the mess she'd made.

"'S alright, pet" Spike told her kindly, though he wasn't too thrilled at having her do that, he loved her enough to think she was beautiful no matter what. He was just worried about how she'd got into such a state as this.

"We should probably get you to a doctor" he said, his arm still around her as she leant her elbows on her knees and put her face in her hands.

"No!" she said, whipping her head round too suddenly and feeling horrible again, "I..I just need to walk, and breathe..." Buffy said absently as she got up and took a couple of steps away.

"Y'know a more suspicious bloke might think you were tryin' to get away from me" Spike told her as he to got up, crossed behind the back of the bench and stood in front of her. She wouldn't look at him.

"Buffy, luv" he said, starting to get worried now as his hands went to the top of her arms and he tried to see her face, "Talk to me, pet" he urged her, "You're startin' to worry me here"

She surprised him slightly by bursting into tears and Spike frowned as he pulled her into a hug. This morning was not going at all how he'd planned. It was five a.m. when he'd woken up, a head full of thoughts all related to Buffy and it was clear he was not going to get back to sleep any time soon. He was out of bed by six despite the fact he didn't have a class to teach until lunchtime and so he'd got himself showered and dressed and gone out for a walk to think things through and make sense of his life.

The last few weeks had been more than a little crazy. Drusilla, who he'd dated for over a year, had left him, and for a woman no less! He'd fallen into the arms of Buffy, and into bed with her for just one night of passion, after which he believed he would never see her again, despite the fact he wanted to. Fast forward a few weeks, a torturous time as he tried to put Buffy Summers out of his head and had failed miserably, and here she was again, finally back in his life. That's when things got even more complicated.

Buffy had a husband, and whilst he could be written off as a minor complication, their son was an entirely different matter. Angel was a dark figure somewhere across the sea that barely counted for anything, whilst Michael was flesh and bone and right there in the middle of everything. Spike couldn't imagine being six years old and the envy of his own father, to the point where his mother would no longer take the strain and walked away. The poor kid had been through a lot it seemed and as much as Spike would like to imagine a happy ever after with him and Buffy riding off into the sunset somehow, it was never going to be so simple.

Their dream ending had to make room for another man's child, and that was a whole boatload of manly responsibility to come flying Spike's way. If he had Buffy in his life, he had Michael too, and that was if they even wanted him. He wanted her, of that he was certain. When they made love it was exactly that, no matter how insane it seemed after the short time they'd known each other. Spike knew he was on some level, completely head over heels in love with Buffy Summers and if he hadn't been sure five minutes ago he certainly was now as he held her in his arms and she cried like she'd never stop.

God what he wouldn't give to be able to take all her pain away, to be able to ensure she never cried another tear, never wanted for a single thing. He wanted to be with her so badly it almost physically hurt, and he wanted her to know all that right now, but it wasn't the time or place for such declarations. She was clearly unwell and distressed about something and that was the first thing he needed to figure out.

"Sweetheart, I need you to tell me what's wrong" he said gently as he prised her body away from his and tried to see her face which was by now all tear stained and blotchy from crying so much, "Do I need to get you to a doctor or what?" he checked.

"No" she assured him, in a small voice as she shook her head, "I'm okay"

Spike scoffed at that.

"I'd hardly say throwing your guts up and then bawling all over me really classes as okay, luv" he told her with a look, and Buffy glanced away.

"It is okay" she repeated, "I am, I just... God" she sighed, "This is so not how this was supposed to be" she told him sadly, "I had a speech, several actually I was still trying to choose, and I wanted there to be a restaurant maybe or somewhere where you couldn't leave without making a scene because, I so don't want you to take this badly and I need time to explain, I..."

"Buffy" Spike interrupted her, "You're babbling like a brook here, luv, and not making a whole lot of sense. Now why don't you take a deep breath and start over, cos no matter what it is I can handle it, alright?" he told her and she nodded slightly, taking a breath in and letting it out again.

"Spike" she said, physically shaking, "I... I'm pregnant" she finally admitted, feeling as though the only thing now holding her up was the anticipation of his reply to that statement. Good or bad she had to know, and probably sooner was better. If he was going to walk away he might break her heart less now than he would later, although she doubted she'd fair too well either way.

"Bugger me" Spike gasped, looking completely stunned. Of course as his mind spun back over the events leading up to the conversation, he wondered how he'd been so stupid as not to notice she was probably having a baby, it was the most likely explanation, but it was still the last thing he'd been expecting her to say.

"Is that all you have to say?" Buffy asked, still unsure as to whether he was taking this in a positive or negative way.

"Uh, no" Spike said, shaking his head and trying to make some sort of coherent sentence form within his mind, "I, I just don't... bloody hell, luv, how did this happen?" he asked and Buffy smiled in spite of herself.

"You want a diagram?" she asked and he rolled his eyes.

"No" he told her with a look, "Obviously I get how, but... bloody hell" he repeated, and Buffy really thought he was going to run away screaming any second when suddenly he grinned like an idiot and pulled her tight to him, "Oh God, Buffy, this is fantastic" he told her and she looked stunned as she pulled away.

"It is?" she checked, "I mean, you get what this means, right?" she asked him, "I'm having a baby. Your baby. We're going to be parents to a child that's inside me"

"I get the concept, luv" he assured her, "and I know it's not entirely practical but, soddin' hell Buffy, I still love the idea... in case it wasn't obvious already, I love you" he told her sincerely and it was all she could do not to start crying all over again.

"I love you too" she admitted in a small voice, "So much, Spike, you have no idea"

He moved to kiss her then but she backed away, causing a strange look of confusion and hurt to appear on his face.

"I can't kiss you" she told him firmly, "I'd love to but... well there are issues with my breath and all" she admitted, reminding him how ill she'd been a while ago.

"Here" he said, smirking as he dug in his pocket, pulled out a packet of chewing gum and threw it at her, "Make use of that as quick as you like, before the pressure gets to me and I just snog you anyway" he told her with a smile.

His blue eyes sparkled at her, so full of the love he professed to feel. It was more than obvious he meant it, most especially because he was still standing here, moments after she'd told him she was having his child. The fact he was actually pleased about it was a miracle by itself!

"I can't believe you're happy about this" she said, chewing on her gum, and standing a very deliberate two or three feet back from Spike for now, "I mean, we barely know each other, and I'm having your baby. I have Michael to think of and..."

"Buffy" he interrupted, "Look, I know it's not gonna be a walk in the park, I understand that, I'm not completely stupid" he pointed out, "but I never felt like this about anyone before in my whole life. So long as I can be with you somehow I don't care how tough it gets, I can handle it... if you can"

She nodded at that, more tears springing to her eyes.

"I think I can" she agreed, "At least, I wanna try. I have to be with you Spike, any way that I can. I love you so much... You wanna kiss me now?" she asked shyly and she barely had time to breathe before he was there, right in front of her, his arms around her body as his lips claimed hers and he took her breath away in the most beautiful way possible.

"You make me feel like a stupid teenager" Spike told her when they parted for air, "You fill my head, all the bloody time, and when I'm with you I can't think straight..." he stopped talking when he realised she was frowning, "What's up, pet?" he checked.

"You stole my gum!" she caused, making him laugh out loud as he realised she was right, somewhere in amongst their kissing her gum had found it's way into his mouth.

"Well, if you want it, pet" he smirked, "You'll just have to take it back now, won't you?"

"I guess I will" she told him as she rose admirably to the challenge.

* * *

It was a while later as the two were walking hand in hand through the park that Buffy started to laugh. Spike asked what was so amusing and when she'd caught her breath enough to answer she explained.

"I was just thinking is all" she smiled, "I had all these daydreams and stuff about seeing you again" she admitted, ducking her head down, really wishing her hair was loose so she could hide behind it right now, "The first time I see you I pass out, next time you save my son's life and, well, we didn't so much talk as... well, y'know" she blushed, "and today I practically throw up all over you, cry like a baby and we finally admit we love each other. It's all kinda lacking the romance" she said, glancing over at Spike who grinned.

"Wouldn't say that, pet" he said, squeezing her hand in his as they stopped walking and he faced her, "Okay so whoever's in charge of fate and all that clearly has a twisted sense of humour where you and me are concerned, but as far as romance goes, didn't you once tell me our first night together was like something out of a romance novel?" he reminded her.

"I did" she nodded, "It was. Nobody ever wanted me so much, nobody ever made me feel like that. You changed my life" she said softly putting a hand to his cheek.

"You changed mine" he replied in kind, "You're still changing it, every minute I'm with you, it's like the world's a whole different place, a better place"

"Same here" she nodded, pushing back more tears.

"That works out nicely then" Spike smiled as he kissed her hand, then leaned in to puts his lips to hers once again.

"Oh bugger" he said suddenly, pulling away and Buffy made a little sound of annoyance at the loss of contact, "I'm sorry, luv" he apologised, "Just realised, I ought to be getting home, get a change of clothes and such. I'm teaching a class in less than half an hour" he told her.

"My God, I had no idea we'd been out here so long" Buffy gasped as she got hold of his wrist and read the time from the watch there.

He walked her back to where her car waited for her, kissing her soundly before she got into the vehicle. She wound the window down almost as soon as she'd closed the door.

"It's crazy" she shook her head, "I have this awful feeling that if I drive away now... well, what if that's it? What if something happens and I never see you again" she said, suddenly looking so young and afraid. Spike leaned in through the open window to kiss her again.

"Now you listen to me Buffy Summers" he said firmly, looking her right in the eyes, "I love you. Love you more than I knew I could love anyone, and yeah, it's gonna be bloody hard work figuring out this situation we've got ourselves into, I'm not denying that" he admitted, "You and me have to get to know each other better, your Dad's not my biggest fan, and then there's your boy Michael, and our little one on the way..." his voice trailed away as he realised there really was a long list of complications involved, but when his eyes met hers again, he knew it didn't matter, "but we will make this work Buffy, I know that. I believe it"

"I do too" she smiled bravely, "Somehow I think maybe I knew from the first night I met you that you'd change my life, and as scary as it is, I'm really glad you did"

"Makes two of us, pet" Spike smiled back at her, claiming one more kiss before they really did have to part. Both of them knew it would not be long before they saw each other again.

_To Be Continued...  
_


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N : Yeah, so this is the end of One Night In Heaven. I hope it works for you guys and your not disappointed by the kinda of abrupt ending, I just didn't really have anywhere else to go with the story. This last chapter is kind of epilogue-ish, it jumps forward in time some, and... well, it's probably easier if I stop rambling and just let you get to reading it!  
**_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 15

"Dad, could you get that!" Buffy called from the kitchen where she was making a sandwich. It was past eight and she was attempting to make sandwiches for Michael's lunch, a task made more awkward than it might be by the large bump where her flat and toned stomach used to be.

She was now over eight months pregnant and just about ready to burst, or so she thought. The doctors assured her she had three weeks to go, and Buffy knew it was true, but still it felt as if the whole pregnancy thing should soon be over. She was bored of being fat and aching all the time, the only comfort being that the nausea was over and the food cravings were almost gone too.

"Hello, luv" Spike smiled as he came into the kitchen. Clearly it had been him at the front door a moment ago.

"Hey" Buffy sighed, so pleased to see him, though so self conscious about how she looked, even now.

Over the past months, Spike and Buffy had got to know each other the way they perhaps should have done in the first place. Giles had said the order in which they had done things was very much putting the cart before the horse, to which Buffy had replied that phrase was way too British for her to understand, but of it meant her and Spike had done things in an unconventional way, did it really matter?

Now they were as much a couple in love as any two people could be, to the point where they spent as much time as was possible together and were currently attempting to get a new home organised for themselves before the baby was born. It was within easy walking distance of Giles' home, which was one thing Buffy insisted upon when she and Spike decided they needed a place of their own together. Spike wasn't sure at first, as much as he wanted to be with Buffy the idea of being so close to her disapproving father and helping her bring up her son was a little daunting, but he was always up for a challenge. Michael was a sweetheart and Spike would not be intimidated by Giles.

The older man came to respect his daughters lover over time. Despite appearances, he proved himself to be a decent sort of man, and Giles found he could not be angry or opposed to Buffy's plans to move out of his house. It was a thrill to see the young woman whom he was proud to call his daughter so happy after all he knew she had suffered at the hands of her husband.

"Your Dad let me in" Spike told his love, kissing her cheek, "Asked me to bring these through" he said, handing her three envelopes addressed to her, "Thought I'd do the honours this morning, and take Michael to school"

"That'd be great" Buffy answered absently as she studied one of the letters in her hand. The first two were junk, but this one was postmarked from America and had been signed for on delivery. Clearly it was official in some way and she opened it carefully.

"Somethin' wrong, pet?" Spike asked worriedly when he noticed her expression. He'd barely glanced at the mail as he'd brought it through and as soon as he'd passed the envelopes to Buffy he'd taken over packing Michael's lunch into his box for him.

"I don't know..." the blonde said as she read the printed documents from inside the envelope. When she realised what it was all about she felt sick and her legs threatened to give way beneath her. A hand went to her mouth as she gasped and tears streamed from her eyes.

"Bloody hell" Spike cursed, getting a hold of her before she fell and did herself and their unborn child an injury. He got Buffy onto one of the chairs by the table and asked her what was wrong, but she didn't have words, handing him the letter as explanation.

"'For the attention of Mrs Buffy Anne O'Reilly'" he read aloud, a little put off by the full name he wasn't used to, "We write to inform you...'" he continued, voice trailing away as he realised what it was all about, "Your husband?" he gasped, looking down at Buffy who cried quietly.

"Angel" she whispered, "He's dead"

Spike wasn't sure what to say or do. Buffy hardly ever mentioned Michael's father anymore, except when absolutely necessary. She'd explained the details of her marriage more fully to Spike in many a 'getting-to-know-you' conversation that went on for hours and well into the night at times. That was all a while ago now and Angel had scarce got a mention these past couple of months as Buffy and Spike, and indeed Giles and Michael concentrated on the future.

"Huh?" the little boys voice from the door startled both the adults in the room.

"Oh sweetie" Buffy cried, opening her arms to her son who ran straight to her and hugged her as best he could around her bump, "My baby, I love you so much" she told him, kissing the top of his head as she cried into his hair.

Spike felt very much like the third wheel suddenly, and he hated himself for being jealous of a dead man, even a little. Glancing back at the letter in his hand he learned how Buffy's husband had died. He and a female friend had been driving down the freeway, both of them so drunk they should not be in charge of a vehicle. They swerved across three lanes to avoid an oncoming truck, crashing into the central barrier. The woman died instantly as her neck snapped, Angel himself might have survived his injuries if not for the fact he had spent so much of the past years steeped in alcohol. His liver and kidneys failed, and this coupled with the head trauma and other injuries he'd sustained had lead to his death a few days ago.

"Mommy?" Michael's voice, pulled Spike free of deep thought as he concentrated on the two, or one might say three people who meant more to him than anyone else in the world, "Did something happen to Little Bit?" the kid asked, his little hand resting on his mother's stomach.

It was Spike who had taken to calling the unborn child that, and Michael had decided that was the baby's name. Buffy found it amusing and let them both carry on, though she was determined when the child was born she would give her a proper name and everyone would have to learn to use it.

"No, sweetie" Buffy assured her son, her hand at his hair, "Little Bit is just fine" she promised, "This is... it's about Daddy"

"My old Daddy?" he asked looking up at Spike who couldn't help but smile. Though the idea of himself being Michael's new father had never actually been discussed with the boy, and he still called him only Spike, he behaved like he was the kids Dad and was proud that Michael thought of him as such.

"Yes, mate" he nodded, "Your Dad back in the States" he said, crouching down to the boys level. He knew Buffy was struggling and that left him to break the news to the kid, a nod from his lover told him that was what she wanted and that she was so grateful he'd guessed.

"Is he coming here?" Michael asked, actually shaking with apparent fear, til Spike shook his head.

"No, mate" he told him, "See, thing is, your Dad, he... he had a bit of an accident and, well, he can't come and see you, Michael" he said, hating himself for possibly breaking the childs heart but knowing he had to tell the truth for everyone's sake, "He's gone, mate, gone to a better place"

He hoped the boy understood and it seemed he did as he asked in a quiet voice;

"Like Barney?"

Barney had been a goldfish Spike had managed to win when he'd taken Michael to a visiting fair. It had lived just four days before he'd been found floating upside down at the top of the bowl. As any caring parent would, Buffy told him Barney had gone to a better place now, but that he could no longer come back. He was too little when Joyce had passed away to remember her so the goldfish was the only bereavement he'd really known. Whilst it could not compare to losing a father, it was the only comparison he had right now.

"Yes, Michael, like Barney" Buffy managed to say, knowing it was unfair to make Spike deal with all this, "Are you okay, honey?" she asked as the little boy stood between her and Spike, looking back and forth with an unreadable expression on his little face for a few moments. He looked a if he might be about to say something when Buffy stole the attention from him, a hand going to her stomach as she winced.

"You okay, luv?" Spike asked, getting up and going to her side, "Is it the baby?"

"I... argh!" her would-be sentence became nothing but an exclamation of pain as she flinched once again.

"Mommy?" Michael asked worriedly, looking closer to tears now than he had moments ago on the news of his father's death.

"It's okay, sweetie" Buffy tried to comfort him a little as she concentrated mostly on breathing properly, "It's just, your little sister wants to come out and play" she smiled, glancing up at Spike who's eyes went wide.

"Bugger me" he exclaimed, "But you're not due for another three weeks" he reminded her needlessly.

"Tell that to your daughter" Buffy told him, as another contraction came and went.

"Michael, run and tell Grandpa Giles that Mum's havin' her baby now" Spike told the boy who ran off immediately as instructed. Though he was worried by his mother's apparent distress, he would just do as Spike told him, things always turned out okay when his new Daddy took control.

* * *

"How about now?" Michael asked Giles as they sat in the hospital waiting room, in anticipation of news about Buffy and the child being born to her and Spike. The proud father was right there in the room, eager to see his daughter come into the world, As much as he loved Michael and treated him as if he were his own, he was thrilled to know that the baby being born now was his blood kin, a physical product of the love he and Buffy shared.

Though Spike had mentioned it in passing to Giles, just in case Michael asked his Grandpa anything about the situation, the news of Angel's death barely registered amongst the excitement.

"Hey" Spike grinned as he burst into the waiting room all of a sudden, "I'm a bloody father!" he said overly-loudly, and so full of apparent delight.

"Oh good show" Giles congratulated him, actually giving him a hug, though in a manly fashion of course. Michael was quick to get in on the action, wanting to know what was happening.

"Where's Mommy? Is she okay?" he asked urgently, "Is Little Bit okay?" he checked.

"Yes, mate" Spike assured the boy, picking him clear up off the floor and hugging him tight, "Your Mum's perfect, Michael, and so is your sister. You can come see them soon"

"Yay!" the boy cried delightedly, before saying he needed the bathroom. Spike sent him off in the right direction, before turning to Giles.

"He mention Angel at all?" he asked him.

"Not once" Giles shook his head, "To be honest I think the news of the baby has taken his father right out of his mind, which is probably a good thing"

"Could be" Spike nodded, "Buffy barely had time to let it sink in before the baby started coming, shock's probably what set her off" he mused, before his grin returned, "She's bloody beautiful, Giles, my baby girl. Can't hardly believe it"

"I have to admit I am quite jealous" the older man sighed, removing his glasses and cleaning them on his handkerchief, "I missed so much with Buffy, and then Michael"

"Well, you won't be missing a thing with this kid" Spike assured him, "Gonna need regular baby-sitting help y'know" he smirked.

"I shall be honoured" Giles smiled, meaning it truly.

It was a while later when Buffy and her new baby had been cleaned up and settled down that Giles and Michael were permitted to see them. The little boy was awe-struck at the sight of his sister and Buffy could've sworn there were tears in her fathers eyes as he looked at them.

"Hello, Little Bit" Michael grinned as he sat beside his mother on the bad and peered into the bundled blanket at his sister.

"Er, does she have a proper name yet?" Giles asked and Spike and Buffy shared a look before she replied.

"We were thinking Megan Joyce" the blonde told her father who nodded.

"I think that's a beautiful idea" he agreed, "Er, if you don't mind I'm just going to..." he gestured towards the door before disappearing out of the room.

"You think he's okay?" Buffy checked and Spike nodded.

"'S all a bit much for him I reckon, luv" he explained, "Got himself a gorgeous daughter and grandson, and now here's a granddaughter too. Enough to overwhelm a fella I shouldn't wonder" he considered, "Gotta tell you, 's bit much for even me to take in"

Megan chose this happy little family moment to start bawling and Michael worried it was him that had caused her outburst.

"'S not your fault, mate" Spike assured him as he offered to take the baby from Buffy, "Come here, little luv, come to Daddy" he said as he took her in is arms and rocked her til she was quiet again.

"Mommy?" Michael asked her in a whisper, though Spike was so close he could clearly hear the boy, "Now my other Daddy is gone, is Spike my new Daddy?" he checked, "Can I call him Daddy?"

The tears that had been welling up in Buffy's eyes now spilled over as she glanced between the two men who meant so much to her. Spike's smile threatened to split his face in two as his lover nodded.

"Yes, sweetie" she told her son, "If you want to call him Daddy, that's just fine"  
"Cool" Michael smiled, turning his attention back to his sister and mumbling some nonsense or other about how pretty she was and how much he was going to help to take care of her. He barely noticed the conversation the grown-ups were having.

"You okay, pet?" Spike asked Buffy as she yawned, "You look done in"

"I'm tired" she admitted, "but more happy than I ever thought was possible" she smiled, "Are you okay?"

"More than bloody okay, luv" Spike told her, giving her a kiss, "I don't think I've ever been this happy, not sure I could ever get any happier, unless..."

"Unless...?" Buffy prompted him when his sentence disappeared into oblivion. Spike glanced away and spoke to Michael before placing Megan in her little cot. He told the boy to keep watch over her for a minute whilst he spoke to Buffy.

"Okay, so either I've got the lousiest timing in the world, or... well, here goes" Spike muttered as he sat down on the edge of the bed and took the blonde's hand in his, "You turned my life upside down, Summers" he smiled, "I knew when I first laid eyes on you that you were special but I never could've imagined all this. S'pose what I'm tryin' to say is, I love you, Buffy, more than I ever knew I could love anyone, and I love Michael and Megan, and I want us to be together, for the rest of our lives. I know it was tough on you, getting that letter today, and I'm not sayin' we should rush into anything but, Buffy, would you marry me?" he asked finally and she burst into floods of happy tears.

"Yes, Spike" she told him with a smile, "Yes, I'll marry you" she declared as he hugged and kissed her.

It was strange to think that such a happy little family scene could've been the result of one passionate night in a hotel room. It ought to have been just that, a one night stand, memories to be treasured but ultimately set to one side as life went on, but sometimes destiny strikes and it means more than that.

As Giles watched through the window he could see that what Buffy and Spike shared had always been so much more than lust and passion, they were very much in love too, and the children meant the world to them.

Life would not be perfect, not even easy, it never was, but on the whole it ought to be mostly happy from here on out, and that was enough.

The End

**A/N2 : I am aware that I only have one WIP now this fic is over, which hasn;t happened in like forever! I do have new ideas for Spuffyness, but I've been lacking the time to properly plan and write much lately. Hopefully there will be new stories soon though, and in the meantime, your opinions on this one would be very much appreciated, so please review!**


End file.
